23 Things Learned In 23 Years Of Life (Part 1)

This past Friday I turned 23. I’ve honestly have always felt older than what I actually am so even though I’m 23 now, I feel like I’m actually 27. How exactly would a 27 year old even feel? I do not know๐Ÿ˜‚ It’s just always been that way with me. People tend to think I’m older than I am too. They’re genuinely surprised when I tell them my real age. They say I’m just so mature for my age and seem so wise. So I thought I’d to share with you some of the “wisdom” I’ve acquired after being on this earth for 23 years. It’ll be fun so let’s dive right into it!

  1. The people you went to school with will not be in your life as an adult. You may never even seen them again (unless of course you want to) so don’t worry about the high school drama or cliques, who’s popular or anything else like that. It all means nothing in the real world.
  2. If a guy really likes you and wants to be with you, he’ll show it. You shouldn’t have to try and decode his en-cryptic messages of emojis. I hate all those games honestly. I don’t have time for that. That’s why I’m so glad I married an older, mature man too because he didn’t play those games. He shouldn’t ignore your texts for days. You shouldn’t have to read between the lines to see how he’s really feeling. He should make it clear and if you’re confused, ask him. If that scares him off, then good. He wasn’t ready for a real relationship anyways.
  3. Do your own thing in life. Many times what others want you to do may be the exact opposite of what feels right to you. At the end of the day though, you’re the one who will have to deal with the consequences of your decisions. You’re the one who will be left to live your life and those other people won’t have to. So try and do what makes the most sense to you. I mean just look at my life for example, I left High school at 16, got married at 18, and had a baby at 20. But I had a certain vision for my life so I made the decisions that I felt would help me to get there, and it did. So although I did not do things the way people normally would have liked me to, that doesn’t matter. I got to where I wanted to be and I didn’t have to waste time doing things the conventional way.
  4. Not everyone is sincere. It may be hard to believe if you yourself are a sincere, honest hearted person yourself, but not everyone has good intentions. Not every “friend” wants the best for you. It’s something you learn in life. And it may be hard to believe because you may think, why would a person fake a friendship just to then gossip about you and stab you in the back? It’s sad but unfortunately it happens. There are some people out there who are like that. You don’t have to be paranoid and not trust anyone. Just be cautious and try to get to know your friends before you tell them your personal issues. It may happen to you, where you find out that a “friend” was acting more like an enemy behind your back. In that case, just drop them. You don’t need that in your life and there are so many other people who are looking for real friends like you.
  5. You have the power to become the person you want to be in life, to better yourself in anyway you’d like. Whether that be financially, physically, or even just personality-wise, you can do it. If you’d like to be kinder and not as bitter and cynical, then you can work on improving your personality. You do not have to be defined by your childhood, by the way your family acted, nothing. Oftentimes, if someone has a temper then they might say something like, ‘well my father always had a temper too so I can’t help it’. But the truth is, you can help it and that’s good news! You don’t have to stay stuck with traits that you don’t really like. It may be hard to reprogram your brain with the way you think and how you react to things, but it can most definitely be done. I was able to do it, so I know you can too.
  6. Some people will hate you just because. Again, this may be something that’s hard to grasp, but some people just won’t like you and they may not have any real reason why they even feel that way. You may treat them so nice. You might be so friendly and helpful to them and still they just won’t like you. Don’t sweat it. Some people you just can’t win over. But that’s OK because there will be so many other people who do like you, so focus on them.
  7. We all have those people in our lives who we haven’t talked to in years and we think to ourselves, why did I ever lose touch with them? Then you get to talking with them and end up seeing just how negative and toxic they are to your lives. Then you realize that that’s why you broke off contact with them. So my advice to you, leave people from the past, in the past. I wouldn’t say that applies to each and every person but as a general rule of thumb, it’s usually what’s best. There’s always a reason why you stopped talking to certain people or why a certain friendship didn’t work out. Just trust that if you’ve stopped talking with certain people, it’s probably for a really good reason so be wary about allowing them back into your life.
  8. There will be ebbs and flows to your relationship. That’s OK and perfectly normal. So don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you or your partner or that maybe you guys just weren’t meant to be together. That’s something that would happen in any relationship so don’t worry.
  9. Be humble. There is so much in life that we don’t know about so try not to speak on things that you don’t know the facts on. I’ve done it too. I can almost guarantee that we’ve all done it. Be open to learning more and realize that you don’t know it all, not at 23, 43, or even at 63. Try not to comment on the lives of others because more than likely, you don’t know the full story.
  10. It’s easy to find people who will want to sleep with you but its hard to find someone who will love you unconditionally. So when you find someone like that, who really loves you, hang on to them and don’t let them go. It may be true that people will want to be with you physically but that’s so different from someone who will actually commit to you for your whole life. I’ve seen the sad outcome of women who have taken their significant others for granted. They’re still alone at 40 years old and have spent years trying to find true love again. It’s not easy to find so hold onto your love and appreciate them.
  11. Take care of your skin now! I’ve been lathering my face with oil every night since I was 12 years old and recently have been wearing SPF daily. It may seem really premature for me to be doing these things but I rather prevent wrinkles and fine lines. Why take a chance? Just start taking care of your skin now and you’ll thank yourself in the years to come (especially as you get older).
  12. The same goes for your health. You may feel that you’re young and can eat anything you want and don’t have to worry about your health but the truth is that you’ll pay for the way you treat your body sooner or later. In the short term, eating junk food and being inactive will cause you to have low energy, bloat, indigestion, bad skin, body aches, and a whole plethora of problems. In the long term, you can develop diseases that really inhibit your life, you may lose organs or limbs because they’ve shut down due to years of abuse, you may lose your hair, become obese, and the list goes on. So, take care of your health now and you can live a rich, exciting, and fulfilling life. You can do all the things you want to do and your body won’t be able to hold you back.

This is just part 1 of this series since it’s such a long list. Part 2 is already typed up and ready for you guys to see and I gotta say, it’s probably the best piece I’ve ever written. I’m really excited to share it with you guys! But in the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this post. As we go through life, we gain experience and wisdom. The hope is that we’ll learn from it and share what we learn with others too so they can avoid problems. Please let me know any of your pieces of advice for life. I’d really love to hear it and I’d love to know what you thought of this article too.

Till next time,

Paula Moral

The Problem With Living Your Best Life

I’m sure by now so many of you have heard the phrase “live your best life”. A motto like that has good intentions I’m sure. But the more I see that way of thinking affecting people today (youths especially), the more I’m starting to feel that a phrase like that just does more harm than good. Let me explain…

I have seen that this motto of living your best life is actually starting to make a lot of people stressed out and feel under pressure. It creates this way of thinking that if at any moment you are unhappy with anything in your life, you need to drop it immediately because it’s keeping you from living your best life. It’s causing us, especially as a generation, to not work as hard as those before us. It’s as if we no longer want to have to endure the hard work that comes along with so many good things in life because why go through that if it’s not “your best life”. Here are some examples.

Take marriage for instance. In prior generations, marriage actually meant something. It was a lifelong commitment to your partner; a promise that even when things got rough, you would still stick it out and work through those it all. But now, we are so quick to give up! If we don’t feel constantly infatuated and in love with our partner, we want to end it. Instead of having that enduring love for our partners, we are so quick to give up because in that moment, we are not “living our best life”. We think, “why go through this if I can just end it and be with someone else who I don’t have problems with”. The thing is though, sooner or later we will start to have problems and disagreements even with that new beau. That infatuation wears off and before you know it, you’re right back where you were with your last partner. We are so quick to think about the what feels best in the moment rather than thinking about the long term consequences of our actions.

Another example is work. Before, it was long understood that you have to do the nitty-gritty, dirty work before you can make your way to the “top”. It was understood that you have to work your way up in your career which meant that you’d probably have to start out doing work that you hated. But it was worth it because there was a goal in sight and you knew that this was the way to start on your road to success. That was the understanding before but now, people just want their first job to be their dream job. They want to start out making millions. I have seen so many people that refuse to do any work (even though their dirt broke and living off their parents) simply because it’s not their dream job or not “what they want to be doing with their lives”. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! It doesn’t matter if this is what you want to do with your life or not. The bottom line is you need money right now for your day to day expenses. You may have to work a retail job, a waitressing job, or at as a gas station clerk for the moment. That doesn’t mean you have to work there indefinitely. You can work on reaching your career goals on the side while you also work a not so glamorous job to get by. That’s just life. But now that we have this expectation that we have to constantly be living our best life, the thinking now is “why work at a job I hate if it’s not my best life?” And I agree that you don’t have to stay at a job that makes you miserable (at least not forever) but you may for a time have to stick it out, just until you have something else you can lean on financially. We have lost our work ethic. We no longer know how to work hard and to endure anything. We want to give up and quit so easily and it’s all because we’re basically told that we should.

Another reason why I don’t like this motto is that I feel it keeps us constantly dissatisfied. Years ago, people would appreciate their “mundane” lives. They appreciated their family unit, their home, they had a steady income, good health, basically they had all their needs met and they were satisfied. Now, we are always constantly striving to be bigger and better. We no longer are OK in a normal family home. No, now we want to live a luxurious fast lifestyle. We want fast cars, exotic trips around the world, a mansion, lots of money, we basically want the life of a celebrity. We’re no longer satisfied with the typical family life because why be satisfied with just that when you can have it all? In a way, it causes us to be greedy because we think that there’s always better out there for us. But you know what, the grass is always greener and will always be. We will always think that there is more out there that will make us happy. But having that mindset is exactly why happiness will always elude us. We will never be content and satisfied in life so we will always feel that we need to trade in our life for a bigger and better one and then we will finally be happy.

I also feel like that saying keeps us from being content with our bodies. I don’t mind people working out and trying to look their best. But I do have a problem when people are constantly going through plastic surgeries and injections, trying to obtain the “perfect” look. It’s no judgement against any person. I think if I had some extreme “flaw” that really made me self conscious, I would maybe consider getting it fixed. But most of the times that’s not what’s happening. People want to give their lips the “perfect” pout, they want to shave their nose down ever so slightly and get injections in their butt to look like a photoshopped version of a celebrity. These aren’t major “flaws”. There is nothing wrong with them to begin with. This is obsessing over your body and trying to get it to obtain a look that you can never achieve (because it’s fake). But we are told to live our best life, which at times involves doing whatever it takes to be “happy” even if it is going under risky, life threatening surgeries. But again, these things hardly ever end with someone feeling happy and satisfied with their results. It often becomes an obsession. Once they see one thing “wrong” they start noticing all these other things they’d like to fix too.

Living your best life basically makes you feel like you can never be satisfied with your current life. You must always be improving and bettering until you one day you are living your best life. It causes us to see “problems” in our life that we never saw before. We are told that we can’t be satisfied being “just a mom”, or a dad who works a normal 9-5 job and comes home to his happy family. Why settle with that when you can have a bigger and better life?

And that ladies and gentlemen is why I hate when we say “live your best life”. I understand that it has good intentions. It basically is supposed to be motivation to better yourself and your life and I am always for that. But I feel the actual outcome of trying to live by this motto is just a generation of people who are never satisfied. When ever we have problems, we just want to drop whatever is causing them and runaway from it. We no longer want to put in the work that most great things in life require. But the thing is that most of the time we have to muddle through the rough times to enjoy the good ones waiting for us on the the other side.

Let me know in the comments below what you guys think. Do you agree with my viewpoint or do you think I’m just taking it all too seriously? I would really love to hear from you and see how you guys feel about it. But until then, I’ll see you all next time. Bye!

Paula

My Goals For The New Year (2019)

I’m sure most people would agree that the start of a new year is the perfect time to set new goals. It’s like a fresh start to a whole new and improved you! It’s a time I look forward to because it motivates me to work hard on bettering myself. I think it’s so important that we’re constantly growing and becoming better in life and goals help you to do just that. So I thought I’d share with you my goals for this year in hopes that maybe it’ll help motivate you with your own.

1. First and foremost I really want to work on building my blog up to the point where it becomes my business. This is a goal that I’ve had for a while now but never really stuck with it. Mostly because I thought it wouldn’t work out. I was basically setting myself up for failure. But after hearing lectures from others who built a business out of their blog, I realized that all I really need to do was put in the work and be consistent with it. I believe in myself now and I know I can do anything I set my mind to. So I’m ready to put in the work.

2. Another top goal that I have is losing 20 pounds! For those that have read my previous posts on weight loss, this may seem confusing to you. I know at one point, I renounced weight loss and said I was going to just accept my body for what it was. But you know what, that didn’t work for me. I was still uncomfortable with my weight and was just acting like I was fine with it when I really wasn’t. I was tired of feeling self conscious and always feeling nervous once the warmer weather came around because I no longer could cover up. I’ve already been working on losing the weight for about 2 weeks now and I’ve seen great progress. So I just want to make sure that I stick with it until I’m happy and confident with my body (which I’m guessing will be around 20 pounds lost).

3. I want to continue working out consistently at least 3x a week. I used to work out really consistently before I had my daughter, who is now 2 years old. It’s not her fault at all, I just think I’m more tired now and busy so it just takes more of an effort to get it done. Since she’s been born, I’ll have spurts of working out for a whole month but then I’ll stop and won’t exercise again till months later. So I just want to be more consistent with it during this new year because I know I’d make great progress. I’ve been working out now for about a month and a half so I want to make sure that I stay with it and that this isn’t just another one of those months where I workout hard and then don’t do anything for a while. 

4. Along with goal #1, I want to take classes, read books, and watch videos on growing my blog and becoming a better writer. I want this to be my profession so I really want to take it serious and educate myself so I can become the best that I can be.  

5. I’d like to also expand on the recipes I make for dinner too. I think I cook really good and my husband agrees too but I just want to shake it up a bit. We tend to eat chicken (or any other kind of meat), rice or couscous, and roasted veggies or salad. It’s really yummy and I love eating those kind of meals but I also know that it can get boring eating the same thing everyday. I’ve tried changing it up in any way I can, by using different grains, meat, and veggies. But we’ve pretty much tried every variation you can think of so we just need some new recipes in general to help us out. 

6. I also want to switch all (or at least most of) my makeup and beauty products to natural ones. My main reason being that conventional beauty products have been known to have carcinogens, hormone disruptors, and so much more junk and it’s all making us sick. This is something I’ve been knowing for a while now. I started switching my products back when I was pregnant with my daughter. It was more important to me then since I wanted to make sure that she was able to develop as healthy as possible. But once she was born and things got busy with a new baby, that all kind of took a back seat in my priorities. Lately, I haven’t been feeling well, like my hormones are not right. So I’m doing all that I can to get them balanced and cleaning up my beauty products is a huge part in that.  And if we can prevent ourselves from getting sick or developing certain diseases, then why not do it?

7. I also want to choose to watch more documentaries and educational things on TV too. I just want to constantly be learning new things and expanding my mind. It’s good for you too, just to constantly be learning new things and challenging your brain. I don’t want to waste my time watching reality TV shows and sitcoms. Those are fun and entertaining and I definitely will continue to watch those, but I also want to make sure that I’m taking the time to actually learn new things too.

8. Another big goal of mine is to save up enough money so that we can visit Massachusetts this year. That is my home and it always will be. I miss everything about Massachusetts. The city I lived in was filled with mainly Dominican people which is also my family’s nationality so it just feels like family no matter who I talk to over there. I miss that and I miss the culture, the sense of humor of the people, the greenery, and of course I miss my friends and family. I just feel like a part of me is missing and was left behind in Massachusetts and until I go back, that part of me will just remain empty. I can’t wait to simply get reconnected and back in touch with my roots. It’ll also be the first time that my daughter will be visiting my hometown so that’ll be really exciting. I think it’ll feel so nostalgic taking her to see all my favorite childhood spots. I can’t wait!

So what do you think? These are pretty much my main goals for this upcoming new year. Are any of yours similar to mine? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you ๐Ÿ™‚ I hope you enjoyed this post and that you were able to get a little something out of it.

Till next time,

Paula