Oversharing. Have you heard of it? Even if you’re not familiar with the term, I know we’ve all seen it. It’s when people share just way too much of their private life: fights they’re currently having with their spouse, all the things their kids do wrong, or the one I find most disturbing, people’s personal body hygiene. Some things just don’t need to be shared and are best kept to yourself. So today I wanted to talk about the beauty of having a private life and actually keeping a filter on the things you share.
We don’t see that too much anymore. It actually seems to be the norm to share pretty much everything. I feel that stems a lot from the millennial generation of Youtubers. (I am a millennial myself so this is by no means an attack of those in our age group). As Youtubers shared more and more of their life, we as the viewers started to view that as the thing to do, especially if you want to be an influencer yourself. I don’t blame those Youtubers though because honestly, I think you probably run out of things to make videos on sometimes so you basically try to use anything you can for content once your other ideas have run dry. But what we all have to keep in mind is that once those things are shared, we can’t take them back.
It’s sad to say so but not everyone has good intentions and when they hear what your personal struggles or issues are, they may very well use those against you. I don’t want any of us to become paranoid and worry about who’s a real friend or who’s not. But just keep in mind that once you share those things, they will be known by everyone (including those who don’t like you very much).
We also have to think about the long term affect of what we share. Say you post embarrassing things about your kids or talk negatively of them, in the moment it may seem cute or like you’re just venting, but keep in mind that one day your child will grow up and see those things. They will one day be an adult who may be humiliated by something their parents posted of them, something they wish wasn’t out there. Try to keep in mind that your child is their own person. Little as they are, they still need their own privacy and that’s something that should not be violated. This isn’t to say you can’t share anything of your child, of course you can! They are your pride and joy and are often funny little things. My argument is to just think before you post. Think of who is going to see this, think of it potentially being screenshotted and shared with others. Is that ok with you? If it is, then by all means post. But if you have any hesitation, try pausing and think about the lasting effects before you do. You could also choose to just send it to certain ones like maybe family or close friends, that way you can enjoy it all together without the whole world needing to see it.
When it comes to personal hygiene, please please keep that to yourself. Especially the ladies. I’m not attacking or hating on women, I am in fact one myself. But you just don’t really see men talking much, if at all about their personal hygiene things. So for my fellow females, please let’s keep that all to ourselves. I understand wanting to feel “relatable” especially in this day and age of social media where everything is so curated and not relatable but please. We do not need to be showing off a fully grown hairy armpit or show people how we shave our legs that are so hairy they could be mistaken for my husband’s. we do not need to be talking about our periods, problems we have down there, or any kind of smells we experience. (I cringe as I write this, I hope you know that). Those are topics best kept for your close female relatives or friends. It’s sad to say but when you so openly talk about those personal things and even post about it on social media, it brings down your mystery, grace, femininity, and even attraction by a whole whole lot. Now if that’s something you don’t care about, then feel free to share away. But for those who do care about having a certain feminine mystery and intrigue, please keep all that to yourself. I don’t feel that it’s lady like at all to share those things with the world.
Along with that is keeping your personal development and goals to yourself. This isn’t something that is necessarily wrong to share, I’ve done it before as you can see with my previous posts. But I’ve learned that there’s beauty in keeping that to yourself. To work on yourself in quiet and not share every little thing you may be struggling with. In the past I have shared while I was in the middle of a certain goal. But this time around I want to keep it to myself and share it with you all afterwards. There are different reasons why I’m choosing to go about it this way this time around. One big one is that I don’t want to spread misinformation. A lot of times when we’re trying to achieve a goal, we’ll have to try many different methods before we finally reach it. In the past, I have shared what I was doing only to find out that it was totally wrong and not something that was going to work long-term. I just feel bad to have people see that and follow that sort of wrong way of doing things and never know that I actually don’t even agree with it anymore. And I could make an updated post about my new stragedy but there’s no guarantee that that person would ever see it.
Those are just a few of the many reasons why i think we need to value having a private life and not sharing every little detail in our personal lives. When you keep things private, people will have nothing to speculate on because they don’t know anything. They won’t have any personal details to go off on. They can assume what they want but they won’t really be able to base it on anything. Having a private life can mean peace and little to no backlash or criticism since people don’t even know what you’re up to. You can make mistakes without the whole world having to know about it too. And that is a beautiful thing.
What are your thoughts? Do you think we should keep more to ourselves or is sharing just caring? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.
Hi everyone! Hello and welcome back to my blog 🙂 It’s been a while since we’ve last talked. I believe I took a month or two off since my last post but it was something that I needed. There has just been so much going on in the world, as we all know, and I just needed a moment to myself to think, reflect, and digest it all. In that time, a good amount of things have changed too. I’ll be updating you guys about it all as we go along. I thought today I would share with you my updated goals for the rest of 2020, because you know what, most of the goals I made at the beginning of the year have pretty much gone out the window. None of us could’ve predicted what this year would have brought us. We all had grand plans at the beginning of the year; we were just so bright eyed and innocent back then. But it doesn’t mean that we can’t still make the most of this time (mostly) at home. Here are my updated goals for the remaining 6 months:
Eat normal and allow my body to find it’s set point. I hesitate to say this but I think I’m coming to the realization that I have an eating disorder. I’ll get into this more in a later post when I feel more comfortable to open up. But basically the more I’m reading on the subject and looking at my own eating patterns and thoughts towards food ever since I was 12, I realize there’s definitely a problem there. I have basically never not been on a diet for more than 2 weeks (not until this month since I am now trying to heal). I really am eager to share with you guys all about my journey with healing my body and the issues that I’ve had with eating for the past 11 years. It’s just a sensitive topic since I am currently in the midst of it. I worry that if someone were to make a negative comment about my journey towards healing, that it may hurt me enough to want to relapse. And I of course don’t wamt that. I also don’t want to put information out there on something I’m just starting to learn. So in due time, we will talk about it all. My goal is to continue to listen to my body, eat healthy and nutrious food but still allow for sweets and snacks when I’m craving them. I basically don’t want to go on a diet or starve myself. I want my body to be able to settle where it needs to without me getting in the way of that.
Continue to grow my small shop. During my time away from my blog, I’m excited to say that I started my own business selling handmade goods! Right now I have fulfilled a couple orders of baby booties and hats. It’s just what people have been interested in so far. I can knit anything that people want though. My Instagram business page is @PeachyCreamPaula in case you’re interested in seeing for yourself. I do always appreciate a like and follow so feel free to do that if you do in fact like what you see. Along with knitted goods, I also make macrame baby teethers and have plans to make more macrame things. I also love drawing so I plan on eventually selling some of those too. I have just always had a love for arts and for making beautiful things with my hands ever since I was young. I thought it was time to finally start my own shop and I’m very excited to see where it goes.
Save Money! It’s so funny because out of no where, I suddenly want to save all the money! I don’t know if it’s just an age thing and I’m maturing (I’ll be 24 this december) but out of no where there has just been a shift in me in which I refuse to spend more money than I have too. I think it has just been that I’ve realized that I’ve wasted money buying things from a certain brand or store that I honestly could’ve gotten a dupe for SO much cheaper. I think that just aggravates me. I think of how that money could’ve been used towards something that actually mattered to me like home renovation projects or a nice vacation. It’s upsetting when you find something for so much cheaper but you already spent your money on the more expensive version. So I am just on a mission to save as much money as possible. That means going to Wal-Mart and the dollar store whenever possible, making eating out only for special occassions (maybe like twice a month), packing my husbands lunches, and renting movies only on rare occassions. This is my first month putting these policies into place so we’ll see at the end of the month just how much we were able to save. I’m so excited for it and I can’t wait to share the results with you all. I’m also switching my makeup to the cheapest ones possible (while still maintaining the look and quality that I want) so I’m eager to share with you the cheaper finds so it can help make your switch even easier too (if that’s something you’re wanting to do).
I do plan on blogging regularly again. It may have to be less times a week since I also have my small shop that I’ll also be working on. I’m thinking for right now I will focus on posting one article a week since that’s a managable goal for me. You can expect to see a new post from me evey Monday morning at 11am EST. I have so many new posts for you guys talking about all the things listed above along with some outfit lookbooks for the fall, what a normal day for me in my restricitve eating recovery looks like, what motivated me to get off the dieting cycle, and so much more. I’m also open to taking recommendations from you guys for anything new you all want to see.
We also plan on possibly moving to a whole new state! That may come as a shocker to some of you since we literally just bought our house less than a year ago (it’ll be a year in December). It honestly was a surprise for us too since we had planned on living here for a while. But some things have come up, I’ll get into it in another post, and we may be moving states in a year’s time. Pretty much my husband and I are not crazy about this city in California that we live in (and also where he grew up). We’re not crazy about the state as a whole and it’s way too texpensive. So this home we moved into was our last hurrah and chance to still make it work. If we have to move (which it looks like we will) we don’t really want to stay here. We are really loving North Carolina based off what we have researched and what our friends who have moved there have said. So my goal for this year is to keep researching it, gathering information, and visiting a few times if it’s safe enough to do so. It will be a challenge trying to visit with the whole pandameic that’s going on. I don’t even know if we’ll really be able to. We’ll wait to see if things calm down and if they don’t then we’ll just have to reevaluate at that time.
I think that wraps up my updated goals for this year. I can’t believe how different some of them are from where I thought I’d be at the start of the year. Like moving? I never would’ve imagined that and yet now my husband and I are willing to move to a state we’ve never been to blindly! But that’s life; it’s ever-changing and always surprising us. I like that though, it’s like a new adventure. But I have to say, it’s the reason why when people ask me: “where do you see yourself in 10 years?”, I honestly have no clue and no real answer to give them! I had no idea that I’d get married at 18 and move from ky home town of Boston to California. I didn’t expect to have my daughter at 20 or to be a homeowner at 23. One thing’s for sure, I like to move fast. I’m impulsive and impatient. It sometimes kicks me in the butt but for the most part it leads me to unexpected adventures, and I love that.
If you guys enjoyed this little life update, please make sure to give it a like and to subscirbe so you can be the first to see the latest and the greatest from moi. Let me know any new updated goals that you guys may have for this year. Where has 2020 left you? I’d love to hear how you all are doing during this time too.
Even though we are in quarantine at the moment, there are still some goals I’d like to work on. I’d like to come out of this with a better and more improved version of myself. I want to be proud of the way I used my time at home. Every month I like to make goals for myself so I know what my focus should be for the upcoming weeks. So I wanted to share with you guys what I’ll be working on for this next month in hopes that it’ll maybe help give you all some ideas. These are all things that can be done at home too so we can be safe and still accomplish our goals.
One of my first goals I want to work on is learning how to style my hair in a way that I love. I’ve done straight hair, wavy, natural, but none of them are what I’m wanting. I’ve always used hot tools sparingly to avoid heat damage, but it’s to the point that I think it just may be necessary to start using them daily, at least for touch ups. I’m just tired of having frizzy or flat hair that I feel self conscious of.
I am also working on losing my next 20 pounds. For those who don’t know, I just recently lost 20 pounds this passed April and now I am working on losing some more. This time around I’m going about it by eating clean and of course with the right portions too. I just felt that with calorie counting (which is how I previously lost my weight) it wasn’t teaching me how to eat healthy. You could eat 1500 calories of just chocolate and still lose weight but that’s not setting you up with healthy habits. So I really wanted to take the time to learn how to eat in a healthy way that’ll help me to maintain my weight loss . It would be terrible if I were to gain it all back, especially considering how much time and effort I have to put in just to lose it so learning healthy habits is really important to me.
My next goal is daily walks in the morning. Last month I went back to doing my Pilates (which I absolutely love) but now I’m just in the mood for walking. It doesn’t really matter what I end up doing, my main goal is just to have daily movement. It feels so good and it’s good for you too.
I also want to try and make it a habit of doing an arts and crafts activity with my little toddler everyday. Since she’s not able to spend time with her friends right now, I’m trying to fill that void by spending even more time with her one on one. I’ve been enjoying trying different Pinterest projects with her. They help us spend time together and they help her to be creative as well. I like to use it as our little home school time. I often run out of ideas so if you’re like me and need some help in that department, Pinterest is where it’s at.
Next I want to get back into a regular cleaning routine so that our house is close to spotless a majority of the time. Once quarantine continued on past the one month mark, I started to get burnt out, sad, and tired so I didn’t have my normal motivation and energy that usually helps me to stay on top of things. Now that I’ve accepted our current situation and am working with it, I’m starting to get on top of cleaning once again. Clothes are being hung up soon after they are washed, dishes are getting done on the daily, I’m basically back baby. So for this next month, I just want to keep that momentum going and continue to tackle all of the daily chores. When the house is clean, then I am happy (and so is the hubby😄) so I want to maintain that in July.
I mentioned this one in a previous post, but I want to work on reading regularly. Ideally this would be something that I would do everyday. I struggle with this simply because there is so much I like to get done during my free time (and sometimes need to get done) that reading often gets put on last on the list. But I want to at least start with 10 or 15 minute sessions just to get me into the habit (and into the book) and then we can increase our time from there.
These are my goals for July. This month’s list is on the shorter side but I guess it’s because there is only so much I can do while in quarantine or I already accomplished my other goals. I hope this list was able to help you in someway and that you enjoyed getting some insight into what I’ll be doing during these next few weeks. Let me know what else you would like to see me write about. I want to tailor my site to what you all are interested in. Are there any goals you have for this coming month? I’d love to hear from you.
One of the hardest parts for me with staying home during quarantine is just finding enough things to do to keep me busy. With lock down now lasting 3 months, I’ve been rotating through a list of things that I can do during my time at home. I wanted to share them with you guys for those times when you’ve maybe run out of things to do and can’t think of anymore. Here are my go-to’s:
Adult coloring books– These are so entertaining for me that they’ll keep me busy for hours! It’s also a nice way to unwind and relax at the end of the day while also being creative. Amazon has a so many to choose from. I’ll try linking the one I got, along with the markers, down below.
Spa day– You can take a day or even just an evening to pamper yourself. You can take a bath, do a hair or face mask, do your nails, anything you’d like to give yourself a little extra love and feel better.
Bake new things/ try new recipes– This is one the whole family can take part of. Kids can help with measuring and mixing and everyone can help with eating it.😁 This activity can possibly keep you and the kids busy for a whole afternoon.
Arts and crafts with kids– I have a toddler girl so I’ve been trying to do one arts and crafts project with her everyday. Pinterest is full of amazing ideas and they often will include common household objects like paper plates, paint, and things like that; so no need to have to go out and buy new materials if you don’t want to. My daughter loves art so she’ll stay busy with these activities for at least 2 hours. It’s such a good way for kids to get creative and use their imaginations too.
Exercise or daily walk– I’ve been trying to make sure to do something active everyday. I’ll either go on a walk with the family or do some Pilates videos at home (they’re free on YouTube). It always makes me feel good, it’s healthy for us, and a lot of the time my daughter will want to join in so it’ll help encourage healthy habits for the kids too.
Weight loss goals– This is something I’ve been focusing on while in quarantine. It’s something that can be fun while you track your progress and find new ways of cooking food for low calorie options. And in the end you’ll most likely feel better about yourself and be more confident.
Journal– Quarantine has been hard for us all so I’ve been finding it especially helpful to journal my thoughts and feelings nearly every day. It helps me to focus on what I can fix and to put things in the right perspective. Journaling helps me to see things as they really are and to not blow them out of proportion.
Work on your makeup skills– Since we have more time on our hands, what better time to try and learn some new techniques from the makeup gurus? I’ve been taking more time when I put my makeup on in the mornings and just enjoying the process. I also try to play around with eye shadow and work with new colors. It can be fun and you can end up finding something that will become a new makeup staple for you.
Knitting or sewing– This is something I did a lot of at the start of quarantine (but now I blog) it can be so nice to make things with your hands and to maybe even gift them to friends.
Make care packages for those in need– It could be for friends or maybe for someone you don’t even know that well but think they would enjoy one. It could be a warm home cooked meal, toys for kids, essential supplies, pampering basket for new moms, anything really. There’s just so much we can do and in the end it’ll help us to feel better too when we give back to others.
Read!– So many of us have forgotten about the simple enjoyment of reading a book or we just put it aside in exchange for highly stimulating activities. I know I did. I’m trying to get back into reading. It’s something that can help expand our thinking and vocabulary, it can take us away on new adventures right from our own home, and if it’s a really good book, it can keep us entertained for hours.
Nap– With all that’s going on in the world, it can really be taxing on us emotionally and mentally. Taking a nap can help us to reset and take a break from it all. Often times we’ll wake up with a clearer mind and maybe have new solutions to problems we’ve been struggling with. We always say we’re tired but with quarantine, we don’t need to be.
Picnic– Making sure we get about an hour of outdoors time everyday has been life changing during this lock down and a picnic can help you do just that. It can help get you out from just being indoors all day and the sunlight can help brighten your mood and make you feel more energetic (at least it does for me🌞).
Pool time– If you guys happen to have a pool, you can take advantage of these hot summer days and turn it into a pool day. That can help take up a big portion of your day, and as a bonus, it also makes the kids super sleepy so they’re sure to be more calm afterwards and maybe even take a nap.
Organize– You can use this time to organize those areas in your home that you’ve been wanting to get to but just have never had time for previously. Pinterest has so much inspiration for organizing. I recently just gave my pantry a Pinterest-like makeover. Here’s the article if you need help getting started.
Clean/declutter– You can work on any areas that are starting to get hectic. Now is a good time to clean your home from head to toe as a fresh start. It may be easier to maintain after you’ve done so.
Try starting on those projects that you’ve been wanting to– Have you always wanted to write a book? Start a blog? Or an Etsy shop? Now would be a good time to get those dreams started.
Learn a new instrument– Is there one that you’ve always wanted to learn to play? For me, I’ve always favored the ukulele. It has such a sweet, whimsical sound. You can take the time now to try and learn your favorite instrument.
Soap making– This is a hobby that I still love but haven’t done in a long time. There are so many designs and ways you could make your soaps. There are some you can make to look like gem stones, you can hide a small toy in the center for kids, or you can go the crunchy route and make all natural/organic soaps. The possibilities are endless.
I know quarantine can be challenging (I definitely have those days). What helps me is to try and keep a positive mindset and to keep myself busy throughout the day. It’s OK if you need some days to just reset and not really do much, I need those days too. But overall, I hope this article is able to help you stay busy and maybe even give you a few fun distractions as well.
I have always been on the thicker side. When I was younger, I would’ve been considered chubby. But since then, I’ve lost a good amount of weight and would now be considered thick; I’ve got some extra meat on me but I’m not necessarily chunky. But I don’t want to be. I feel so uncomfortable with with carrying around my extra weight. So after taking a few months off from weight loss, I’ve decided to start it back up again. My goal is to lose at least 20 pounds and maybe even more. It all depends on how I feel at that point. I know it’ll be a process and probably something that I’ll have to stick with even into the winter months. But either way, it’s something that I want to get done. It’s been a month of me eating at a calorie deficit so I just wanted to share with you guys what I’ve been eating. Maybe it’ll help to give you some inspiration if you’re getting bored with the foods you’re eating. I’ve been switching it up all the time though (just because there’s such a wide variety of foods I want to eat) so I think I may include one of these “What I Eat In A Day” posts at least once a month. So without further ado, let’s get right into it.
For this day, I decided to have one of my favorite meals. This is my own version of a breakfast burrito (I know it’s not rolled up like one, but you get the point). You may not like the way I do it so feel free to make any changes to yours that you wish. This is how I made mine:
Next, I was feeling the need for something sweet. I wasn’t necessarily hungry but I just wanted something to satisfy my sweet tooth. For me, one of the best things for that is hot chocolate😋 I made mine all fancy just for you guys so it could be more aesthetically pleasing, so enjoy😄 For this fancy hot chocolate of mine you’ll need:
Hot Cocoa Packet (I used a Target brand) (110 cals.)
6 oz. Almond milk (30 cals.)
Whipped Cream (45 cals)
Total: 185 calories
While I was drinking my hot chocolate, I felt like it needed something more. It felt empty and incomplete. So I decided to pair it with a chocolate chip cookie and that hit the spot😋
1 Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookie (170 cals.)
Total: 170 calories
I know what you’re thinking “wait, no lunch?” and the answer is no. I just wasn’t hungry on this day come lunch time. Normally I eat my breakfast at around 8am and that keeps me full till 2pm on average. So come dinner time, I may just eat something light or I’ll wait till it’s 7pm or 8pm to eat again. I’m not restricting myself by any means. I still get the same amount of calories in. But just some days I’m not as hungry. So for this dinner I decided to have:
1 cup Kale Salad Mix (140 cals.)
1 Italian Sausage link (180 cals.)
1 up Sweet Potatoes (114 cals.)
1/4 Avocado (50 cals.)
Total: 484 Calories
That completes my full day of eating. Like I said, everyday is a bit different with what I eat but at the end of the day I make sure I’m still at the same calorie deficit. I’m looking forward to when I can start sharing with you guys my results. Let me know what you guys thought of this article. Is it one that you would want me to recreate in the future (with different meals of course)? And please keep in mind that our calorie needs are all different depending on our lifestyle and our goals. So please make sure you eat the right amount for yourself. I hope you guys have a good day and that you enjoyed today’s read.
Jealousy is an ugly quality that I’m sure we all want to avoid. It can kill a moment and just create the worst tension in a room if you or someone else there is the one exhibiting this negative trait. It’s not a word that you necessarily want someone to describe you as either. So how can we avoid? How can we keep this less than attractive quality from wrecking havoc on what could potentially be a good day? Today I want to share with you how I’ve personally been able to distance myself more and more from this trait.
Let’s be honest. When we’re feeling jealous, it’s most likely because we’re actually feeling a bit insecure at the moment. For me personally, if I’m feeling confident, it doesn’t matter to me what anyone else around me is doing or how they look because I feel good about myself and my worth. I don’t need to compare or compete with anyone because I know I’m good as I am. It’s on the days where I’m not feeling so great about myself and feeling insecure that I will start to compare myself and then feel even worse because I’ll feel like I’m lacking in some area. So my answer to jealousy is to do what you can to better yourself and get to where you want to be.
Are you feeling insecure because of your acne which then makes you jealous of others with clear skin? Or are you insecure about your weight so that you then feel jealous of others who are at a healthier weight? Do what you can to fix those issues so that you have nothing to feel bad about. Don’t be mad at someone just because they have something that you want. Instead use those people as motivation and inspiration to work on yourself and then achieve those things that you are longing for and were once jealous of.
I know it’s not easy to just flip the switch and to start using any negative feelings you may have and turn them into positive actions, but it is well worth it. In the end, you will be someone that people want to spend time with because you don’t carry the negative traits that come along with being jealous. You will be someone who is more bright and positive because you will have used your energy towards bettering yourself instead of hating others and being bitter.
I’m telling you, a majority of the things your self conscious of can be worked on. I used to be heavily over weight, have a deeper voice, a negative attitude and mindset about everything, brittle frizzy hair, cystic acne filled face, and so many more negative attributes. I didn’t like the overall person I was because not only did I not look the way I wanted but I also had a horrible attitude to couple that. So I literally sat down and thought of who I want to be as a person. (I did this a lot when I was 12 and 13). I like to draw so I would draw out the person I want to be. I wanted to be sweet and gentle and kind. I wanted to be loving and affectionate. I wanted to be someone who walked with grace and was well poised. A lot of these things didn’t come naturally to me so I really had to work on them, and so I did.
It took some time but I slowly started to become the person I always wanted to be. All that is to say that the very person you’re jealous of, you can be. Whatever it is they have, you can attain. I would say at least 90% of the change you want is within your control. That’s a lot that you have power over. You can be the exact person you want to be and that is so liberating to hear! You don’t have to be bitter that you’re not like so and so or don’t have a certain thing that they do. You can work on bettering yourself to the point that your days of being jealous will be far and few between; to the point that it’s rare for you to have one of those days. You have the power to be who you want to be. It’s all up to you.
Tell me, what did you guys think of this article? Was it informative or helpful? I sure hope it was. Being jealous is no fun for anyone sitting in that room. I want you to have as many good days as possible and to be so confident about yourself that you don’t really long to be like anyone else because you are content and happy with the person you’ve worked hard to become. Please let me know what you guys thought of this article because I just love to hear from you. I hope you guys have a good rest of your day (or for those like me, a good night). I’ll see you in my next one.
When it comes to working out, music is everything! It can get you pumped up and in the mood to give your workout all you’ve got. It can get you excited and full of energy. Music can even make you look forward to your sweat session. It really is key to enjoying your fitness regime. With many of us having the goal of weight loss for this new year, I thought I’d share with you all my favorite workout songs of the moment. I tend to listen more to pop, soft rock, and R&B so if those are your favorite genres, then you might just find some in this list that will become your new favorites. They also range from 90s hits to today’s pop favorites. I hope you enjoy 😊🎶
“Why Can’t I?”, Liz Phair
“She’s So High”, Tal Bachman
“There She Goes”, Sixpence None The Richer
“White Flag”, Dido
“Someday”, Sugar Ray
“Only Human”, Jonas Brothers
“Turn Off The Lights”, Nelly Furtado
“Pieces Of Me”, Ashlee Simpson
“Invisible”, Ashlee Simpson
“Sparks”, Hilary Duff
“Island In The Sun”, Weezer
“Sue Me”, Sabrina Carpenter
“Dance Monkey”, Tones and I
“Circles”, Post Malone (clean)
“Take Off All Your Cool”, Sabrina Carpenter
“In My Bed”, Sabrina Carpenter
“Bad Time”, Sabrina Carpenter
“R.E.M”, Ariana Grande
“Rock Bottom”, Hailee Steinfeld
“Look At Her Now”, Selena Gomez
“Sign Of The Times”, Harry Styles
“Easier”, 5 Seconds of Summer
“thank u, next”, Ariana Grande (clean)
“Electric Lady”, Janelle Monae
“Boots”, Grayson Chance
“Gonna Get Over You”, Sara Bareilles
“Workin’ On It”, Meghan Trainor
“Sparks”, Hilary Duff
“How Do You Sleep”, Sam Smith
“I’m Like A Bird”, Nelly Furtado
“Youngblood”, 5 Seconds Of Summer
“Goodbye” (clean), Post Malone
“That Girl”, Lindsay Lohan
“Play That Song”, Train
“Needy” (clean), Ariana Grande
“N.A.S.A”, Ariana Grande
“Boyfriend” (clean), Ariana Grande
“Beat Of My Heart”, Hilary Duff
“We Are Young” (clean), FUN
“Stranger”, Hilary Duff
“Lush Life”, Zara Larson
“Me Too”, Meghan Trainor
Did you find any songs here that you already like or are excited to give a try? Please let me know in the comments below and let me know some of your favorites too. I’m always looking for new music to listen to.
Every year, as some of you may know, I love to set goals for myself. I’m a very goal oriented person. I write down what I want to do and I then I just do it (as Nike would say 😂) So I thought I’d share with you guys my plans for this new year. Maybe it’ll help to inspire some out there and in the end, I’d love to hear your goals too. I’d love to get some new ideas. So without further ado, let’s get right into it.
First, I’d like to continue to grow my blog. I’ve been posting regularly now for a few months and taking it really seriously. I’ve seen growth even in that short amount of time so I know that if I keep at it, then I’ll soon reap the benefits. So I just want to continue posting every week, at least once, but two times would be a dream. This is my job now so I want to treat it as one.
My second goal would be to lose at least 10 more pounds. I’m guessing I have about 15 left to lose but I really can’t tell. I know though, that losing 10 would make a huge difference and would leave me with not much extra weight. So I feel that if I can knock out those 10 pounds, it will cause a huge change in the way my body looks and from there I shouldn’t have much more to lose. For those who don’t know, I’ve been losing weight for 4 months now and in that time I’ve lost 22 pounds. It’s really transformed the way I look. I’m so proud of my hard work. But there’s still a bit more I’d like to lose so I can feel my very best and be my most confident self.
Next, I would like to develop a hair care routine and at the same time, grow my hair a few inches more too. I have never had the best hair. And it’s not because I have difficult hair or anything, I’ve just never really known how to care for it. I’ve always had a frizzy head of hair and it was pretty much always a hot mess. It wasn’t until this past year or so where I’ve been using hot tools on my hair and actually getting more of a smoother, shinier look. But now I see the heat damage starting to creep up on me. It’s nothing serious, just a bit on the ends. But I know that If I don’t take care of it now, it’s just going to get worse. So it’s time to finally implement a hair care routine. I’m talking hair serums, deep conditioning, learning to style without heat, the works. I want silky, gorgeous, shiny, long hair, but I know it’s going to take work to get it there. That starts this year!
I also want to start reading books again regularly. I’ve always loved reading ever since I was a kid. But with all the many books we had to read in High school, reading during my leisure time was the last thing I wanted to do. Then after school ended, I got married and soon after got pregnant so all my time and energy went towards my baby. But now that the baby stage is over, I’m finding I finally have that vigor back and with it, a desire to read and to consume knowledge. I want to better myself, I want to get to the root of personal issues I have, I want to learn new things. I can do all of that with reading. I’m starting to get that hunger for devouring books back so I want to feed it before it goes away.
I’m really looking forward to going on daily walks once the weather warms up. We just moved into our new home a few weeks ago so right now we live by a canal. There’s a beautiful path that goes all along it with flowers and greenery that I just can’t wait to walk. It’s still pretty cold here in California, but as soon as the weather warms up, even just a little bit, I plan on walking out there. Ever since losing my weight, I’ve been keeping active everyday. I want to keep that up though even when all my weight is gone and I think walking outdoors is a fun, relaxing way to do so. So as soon as I’m able to, I’ll be out there.
Another thing I’m really looking forward to is upgrading my closet. Now that I’ve lost a good amount of weight, everything is pretty loose and baggy on me. For some clothes that’s perfectly alright, like a sweatshirt for example. But for a fitted dress, it just doesn’t look right when you’re swimming in it. I’ve been buying myself a few items here and there but only if they’re on clearance. That’s simply because I’m still in the process of losing weight. So although I do want some clothes that fit me now, I also don’t want to invest too much into them since I know they won’t be fitting me for long. With the clothes I’ve been buying, I’m starting to get a bit more adventurous with them. I’m not buying just regular old skinny jeans. Instead I’m opting for a fit and flare sort of pant that cinches at the waist and opens wide toward the ankles. I don’t want to just wear casual clothes anymore. I want them to be fashionable and just my style. I don’t want to play it safe. I’ve also been wearing heels more which is something I’ve never done before. It’s just part of my everyday look now. So I’m excited to add to my heel collection (right now I just have 2 😂)
Another goal I have is to have friends and family over a couple of times every month. Since moving into our new home, we’ve had people come over pretty much twice a week, every week. I want to make sure we keep to that pattern and throw fun parties for our friends too. I have a lot of kid themed parties that I can’t wait to have. Not many people throw those parties where we live but I think it’d be so fun for Lulu and her friends. I’ve always been so shy when it comes to having people over. I just always over think it and worry if people are having a good time. But my husband has helped me a lot with not over thinking and as I get older too, I’m less self conscious and shy. I love being hospitable now and I just can’t wait for all the parties we’ll throw and all the memories we’ll make too.
I also want to continue homeschooling my daughter. She’s only a toddler so she’s not technically enrolled in home-school; we’re just practicing. But I want to make sure that I keep up with it, work on it daily, and am seeing progress in what my daughter is learning. Right now she knows her shapes, colors, ABC’s, she can match, and draw really good. I think that’s all so good especially since she’s not even 3 yet. I’d like to teach her phonics next (the sounds each letter makes) and then from there we’ll work on forming words and eventually reading. I think we’re making really good progress. But like I said, I want to work hard to stick with it. If I’m going to be homeschooling her, then her education is in my hands and that’s something I take really seriously. So I just want to make sure that it’s something I can honestly do.
This last one is actually something I’ve been wanting to do ever since I was a kid. I want to maybe write a book this year. Crazy, right! I’m not talking about just an e-book. I want it to actually be a physical book that you can touch and feel. I’d like to write and illustrate it myself to. I would probably start off with a children’s book since it’s a genre I love, I have a daughter of my own who I could read it to, and I love to draw cartoons which would be perfect for a book of that category. It might be a bit of a stretch since I’m still trying to get my blog off the ground; I may have to focus on that first. But I’ve found websites that you can use to help you write and publish your own book. I think it’d be amazing if I could make that a reality this year.
Those are my goals for this coming new year. They’re definitely different from the ones I’ve had in previous years; they’re new and exciting. I’m looking forward to it all. Please do let me know any goals you have for this new year. I’d love to get even more ideas. I just wanted to mention too, if you guys are enjoying my blog and would like to help it grow, please subscribe down below to my weekly newsletter. You’ll basically be emailed a notice only once a week letting you know that I’ve posted something new on my blog. Don’t feel obliged to do it but if you like the things I write and would like to see more, I would deeply appreciate you taking the time to subscribe. Thank you so much 😊🌻
Last week was part 1 of this series where I shared 12 things I’ve learned in my life. Since the list was so long, I decided to break it up into two posts. This is part 2. It’s heavy and it’s deep…so get ready. 🌻
13. Let God guide you in life. Sorry to include religion if that’s not your thing, but I just need to briefly say that God is the reason why I am so happy today and why my life is where it is. I’ve been in the trenches and in the lowest of lows and God helped me to get out of that. He helped guide me to true happiness in life and avoid paths in life that I almost went down but just would’ve given me misery. So I just have to quickly give thanks and credit to God himself. I wouldn’t be where I am now without him.
14. Figure our what it is you want to do in life so that all your decisions can help lead you there. I know it’s easier said than done but maybe write down a list of things that interest you and perhaps actual jobs you can do surrounding those things. Or if marriage is a major goal for you, think of the qualities you want in a life long mate. That way you can be sure to search that out in the men you talk to and if they aren’t what you’re looking for, you can end it with them and move on. At least then you won’t be wasting your time. Try and think of where you want to be in 5 or 10 years from now so you can set goals that will bring you there.
15 You need to take care of yourself if you want to help care for others. This is a lesson that was especially engraved in me once I had my daughter. You can not serve from an empty cup. You will just find yourself burnt out, exhausted, and constantly irritated. It doesn’t take too much to care for yourself either; eat healthy meals, do your hair, take a hot shower, do a little makeup (if that’s your thing), and most importantly get your rest. You can’t expect a car on empty to go very far so prioritize your sleep if you want to get anything done.
16. Focus on strength training, not cardio. I see so many people, young and old, who workout so much or eat very little but still have a flat butt, lanky arms, and just overall not the shape they want. I wish I could just tell them that all they need is some strength training. And I’m not talking about 2 pound dumbbells; I’m talking about 20 pounds. Strength training has helped give me the curves I have, its given my arms shape, it’s given me structure and definition in my face and body, a sculpted back, abs, and so much more. You can see all my muscle definition even though I still have some weight to lose and that’s because of strength training. Some people believe that once they lose the fat everything will be toned, but the truth is that you need strength training to give you that definition. If you have to choose one over the other, I’d say skip out on the cardio and focus on the weights. And I know a lot of people fear getting bulky, having a thick neck, and large shoulders. Trust me, I get it. I don’t like that look either. The thing is though, it takes a lot of focused effort, a specific kind of diet, and really heavy lifting to attain that bulky look. So it’s not just going to happen on it’s own overnight.
17. You don’t need to keep anyone toxic in your life. Whether that be family or a friend that you’ve known for a really long time. Don’t feel obliged to keep anyone in your life who’s constantly bringing you down, causing problems in your life, and who is overall a negative influence in your life. That’s draining and exhausting. You don’t need that.
18. Never look to a guy to make you feel whole. If you do, you’re heart will always be in their hands. If they cheated on you or hurt you, you may believe that’s what you deserved. Don’t let any other person define you. Be whole enough on your own. Be complete on your own. That way if a guy comes into the picture, he will just add to your happiness. If he is the only reason for you to be happy, then you will constantly be unsteady because any little thing he does could make your whole earth shatter. I know it’s easier said than done. This is something I had to learn too but it’s necessary and vital. We can’t rely on someone else for our happiness because what would we do if one day they’re gone? You can’t spend your days with that anxious thought always in the back of your head. Look within yourself to see why you don’t feel whole on your own. Why do you feel the need to be validated by someone else? Once you answer those questions, you can start on the road to inner happiness and satisfaction. People are unpredictable so you wouldn’t want your whole life to lie in the hands of someone else.
19. Love is far superior to romance. I know that may be hard to believe, especially with the way movies make it out to be. But trust me, love is so much better and is long lasting. Romance is so quick lived and often dies out. You can certainly have romance and be deeply in love with your spouse, but often that takes more effort since you’ve guys have been together so long and its not the beginning stage of your relationship. Often times, as ladies, we can be suckers for romance (I know I am). It can sweep us off our feet and blind us to any red flags or toxic behavior that the guy may be exhibiting. But as someone who has experienced both, I have to tell you that the truth is love is the better option. It’s everlasting. Love is there for you when you’re at your worst moments in life. Love is there to support you and help you through life. That’s what a guy does when he loves you. The romantic guy often just wants to be there for the good parts and as soon as you’re having a hard time, they’re gone. And of course I’m not saying this is true of all romantic guys. It’s possible for a guy to be both in love with you and also romantic. But I’m talking more about those guys where that’s all they really offer. They’re a smooth talker, know just what to say, and are very romantic, but it doesn’t go any further than that. But sometimes because we love the romance so much, we’ll ignore the fact that he’s not so great as an actual boyfriend. And that leads me to my next point.
20. Don’t ignore the warning signs and the red flags! Often times we may be so head over heels for a guy and love the way they make us feel that we ignore all the ways they’re bad for us. We live for those high points in the relationship because it makes us feel like we’re walking on air. But be wary. Keep your eyes open. From my own experience, the most romantic, smooth talking guys were actually really terrible people and I realized that with the deeper I dug. I found out that they were going around talking to so many other girls in just the same way; they didn’t really care about me personally. That is a terrible person who is not going to change just for you. He just doesn’t respect women as a whole and he shows that in the way he acts. Love is just a game for people like that. It builds their ego knowing they can get so many girls and they usually don’t care if you get hurt in the process. It makes him feel good having the reputation of a “heart-breaker”. But often times we may still stick around though because he says the most perfect things and makes you feel incredible. But look beneath the surface. Those are just words; anyone can talk but it’s a whole other thing to walk. The fact that he’s not giving you his full attention and toys around with other girls hearts says a lot about what he thinks of you. He doesn’t think you’re worth it. He feels that you’re just worth part of his time. Don’t try and stick around and hope that he’ll change because more than likely that’s just the way he’s gonna stay. If he’ll disrespect you now, he’ll continue to do it. The honeymoon stage of when you first meet a person is supposed to be a time where you’re really trying to impress the other person and put your best foot forward. But if he’s treating you so negatively now, I’d be scared to see just how ugly it’ll get as years pass and he get’s even more comfortable with you. I want you to see that and not go any further with him. See the warning signs and run for the hills. (I’m sorry if this came off as harsh but when you’re in this situation, sometimes you just need someone to be blunt and give it to you straight. It can be so easy to overlook those things but if 5 years down the road you’re married to this guy and have children with him, it won’t be so cute having him still act like this. You’ll be kicking yourself wondering why you ever stayed with him. I just want you to avoid all that pain and regret.)
21. Don’t allow social media to break up your relationship. I’ve heard that many couples have actually divorced over it too. That’s so sad to me. Understand that social media is not real life. You’re relationship with your partner is far more important (and real) than anything on your phone. If it bothers them that you follow a certain person or like certain posts, just stop doing it. I’ve heard of couples who will fight that to the core. They’ll say “well it’s my right to do it. You can’t tell me what I can and cannot do.” and the list goes on. Why be so adamant about following certain people like that? Why is that so much more important to you than how you’re mate is feeling? Social media is whatever to me. I use it mainly as a business tool and to share photos with family. Any accounts I follow are just for fun. I really don’t care if my husband wanted me to delete all my accounts today, I would just do it. Social media is just not important to me. And the fact that people would have actual arguments with their loved one because they don’t want to unfollow a certain person? That’s unbelievable. Just remember that at the end of the day social media is not a person. So if your mate were to leave you over it, you would be all alone. And for what? It’s just not worth it. Let your pride go, let your ego down, and just listen to your mate’s feelings. Make their happiness a priority far before social media.
22. You can be body positive and still want to lose weight. I know this is a big debate, it often times causes arguments, and everyone has their own opinion on it. Here’s mine: yes, I believe you can still lose weight while also loving yourself and your body. You don’t have to hate your body in order to lose weight. Just recently I’ve lost 22 pounds and am still trying to lose about 10 pounds more. Even at the beginning of my weight loss journey, I still thought I was cute. I was never repulsed or disgusted with myself. And when it came to losing weight, I never resorted to starving myself or putting myself on a super restrictive diet that made me want to gag. I think often times, that may have been the experience of others when they first tried losing weight (I know I did the same thing when I was 12) so I think that’s what they relate to when it comes to losing weight, as if that’s the only way that it can be done. I would actually argue that I’m showing my body more love by trying to get rid of extra weight that is only causing health problems. I’m eating healthier and making sure I’m more active throughout the day. I think caring for my body in that way is much more loving.
23. And finally number 23! I should make this one good since it’s the last one, right? Ok here it goes: always do what’s right. I know that sounds so cheesy, so dull, and boring. But hear me out. Often times when you’re trying to be morally and ethically good as a person, it can be hard. It can be especially hard when we see people who are doing things so wrong and bad in life and yet seem to get away with it and even prosper. But the truth is, we will always pay for our actions in the end. Sooner or later those consequences will be knocking on our door. For example, if you did bad, cheated on your mate, and thought that they would never find out if you never told, guess what. Those things will always, always come out. You will face those consequences sooner or later. You can’t avoid them. Or if you did right in life, you will see good things come your way. You will avoid drama, arguments, and a lifetime of chaos by doing things right. In my life, I have always made the right decisions, I was always the good girl. At times it felt like why, why do I have to work so hard at doing good when this person is doing so many terrible things and yet seems to be prospering. Again, the truth will always come out. Years later I now see it. I see the misery that is their life, how they are struggling, and are alone due to their wrong behavior, and I see how everything in my life is seeming to align all at the same time. Everything is just right and just as I want it to be in life. I’m not trying to brag, that’s why I’m keeping it real vague and brief. But just know that those people who are doing wrong, even if you can’t see it now, they are (or will soon be) paying for their course in life. It may be something that takes years and years for them to fix (and sometimes it may be something that they’ll just have to struggle with for the rest of their lives). So don’t feel that it is in vain that you do things right. Know that soon you will see the reward for all your hard work and then you’ll be so grateful that you made the decisions you did and avoided so many problems in life.
So guys, there you have it: 23 things I’ve learned in my life. I hope you can take away at least one tip from this that you found helpful. In my life I’ve learned so many things, even as a young person. A big part of that is listening to the experiences of others. So please be open to hearing what older and wiser ones have to say. They’re just trying to help you avoid mistakes that they possibly have made in life or have seen others make. Then that way you can avoid so much hurt in your life. Weigh each decision out carefully. It can be so quick to make a decision that may impact you for the rest of your life so think things through. I’d love to hear from you guys and hear any bits of wisdom that you have. Please share! 🙂
This past Friday I turned 23. I’ve honestly have always felt older than what I actually am so even though I’m 23 now, I feel like I’m actually 27. How exactly would a 27 year old even feel? I do not know😂 It’s just always been that way with me. People tend to think I’m older than I am too. They’re genuinely surprised when I tell them my real age. They say I’m just so mature for my age and seem so wise. So I thought I’d to share with you some of the “wisdom” I’ve acquired after being on this earth for 23 years. It’ll be fun so let’s dive right into it!
The people you went to school with will not be in your life as an adult. You may never even seen them again (unless of course you want to) so don’t worry about the high school drama or cliques, who’s popular or anything else like that. It all means nothing in the real world.
If a guy really likes you and wants to be with you, he’ll show it. You shouldn’t have to try and decode his en-cryptic messages of emojis. I hate all those games honestly. I don’t have time for that. That’s why I’m so glad I married an older, mature man too because he didn’t play those games. He shouldn’t ignore your texts for days. You shouldn’t have to read between the lines to see how he’s really feeling. He should make it clear and if you’re confused, ask him. If that scares him off, then good. He wasn’t ready for a real relationship anyways.
Do your own thing in life. Many times what others want you to do may be the exact opposite of what feels right to you. At the end of the day though, you’re the one who will have to deal with the consequences of your decisions. You’re the one who will be left to live your life and those other people won’t have to. So try and do what makes the most sense to you. I mean just look at my life for example, I left High school at 16, got married at 18, and had a baby at 20. But I had a certain vision for my life so I made the decisions that I felt would help me to get there, and it did. So although I did not do things the way people normally would have liked me to, that doesn’t matter. I got to where I wanted to be and I didn’t have to waste time doing things the conventional way.
Not everyone is sincere. It may be hard to believe if you yourself are a sincere, honest hearted person yourself, but not everyone has good intentions. Not every “friend” wants the best for you. It’s something you learn in life. And it may be hard to believe because you may think, why would a person fake a friendship just to then gossip about you and stab you in the back? It’s sad but unfortunately it happens. There are some people out there who are like that. You don’t have to be paranoid and not trust anyone. Just be cautious and try to get to know your friends before you tell them your personal issues. It may happen to you, where you find out that a “friend” was acting more like an enemy behind your back. In that case, just drop them. You don’t need that in your life and there are so many other people who are looking for real friends like you.
You have the power to become the person you want to be in life, to better yourself in anyway you’d like. Whether that be financially, physically, or even just personality-wise, you can do it. If you’d like to be kinder and not as bitter and cynical, then you can work on improving your personality. You do not have to be defined by your childhood, by the way your family acted, nothing. Oftentimes, if someone has a temper then they might say something like, ‘well my father always had a temper too so I can’t help it’. But the truth is, you can help it and that’s good news! You don’t have to stay stuck with traits that you don’t really like. It may be hard to reprogram your brain with the way you think and how you react to things, but it can most definitely be done. I was able to do it, so I know you can too.
Some people will hate you just because. Again, this may be something that’s hard to grasp, but some people just won’t like you and they may not have any real reason why they even feel that way. You may treat them so nice. You might be so friendly and helpful to them and still they just won’t like you. Don’t sweat it. Some people you just can’t win over. But that’s OK because there will be so many other people who do like you, so focus on them.
We all have those people in our lives who we haven’t talked to in years and we think to ourselves, why did I ever lose touch with them? Then you get to talking with them and end up seeing just how negative and toxic they are to your lives. Then you realize that that’s why you broke off contact with them. So my advice to you, leave people from the past, in the past. I wouldn’t say that applies to each and every person but as a general rule of thumb, it’s usually what’s best. There’s always a reason why you stopped talking to certain people or why a certain friendship didn’t work out. Just trust that if you’ve stopped talking with certain people, it’s probably for a really good reason so be wary about allowing them back into your life.
There will be ebbs and flows to your relationship. That’s OK and perfectly normal. So don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you or your partner or that maybe you guys just weren’t meant to be together. That’s something that would happen in any relationship so don’t worry.
Be humble. There is so much in life that we don’t know about so try not to speak on things that you don’t know the facts on. I’ve done it too. I can almost guarantee that we’ve all done it. Be open to learning more and realize that you don’t know it all, not at 23, 43, or even at 63. Try not to comment on the lives of others because more than likely, you don’t know the full story.
It’s easy to find people who will want to sleep with you but its hard to find someone who will love you unconditionally. So when you find someone like that, who really loves you, hang on to them and don’t let them go. It may be true that people will want to be with you physically but that’s so different from someone who will actually commit to you for your whole life. I’ve seen the sad outcome of women who have taken their significant others for granted. They’re still alone at 40 years old and have spent years trying to find true love again. It’s not easy to find so hold onto your love and appreciate them.
Take care of your skin now! I’ve been lathering my face with oil every night since I was 12 years old and recently have been wearing SPF daily. It may seem really premature for me to be doing these things but I rather prevent wrinkles and fine lines. Why take a chance? Just start taking care of your skin now and you’ll thank yourself in the years to come (especially as you get older).
The same goes for your health. You may feel that you’re young and can eat anything you want and don’t have to worry about your health but the truth is that you’ll pay for the way you treat your body sooner or later. In the short term, eating junk food and being inactive will cause you to have low energy, bloat, indigestion, bad skin, body aches, and a whole plethora of problems. In the long term, you can develop diseases that really inhibit your life, you may lose organs or limbs because they’ve shut down due to years of abuse, you may lose your hair, become obese, and the list goes on. So, take care of your health now and you can live a rich, exciting, and fulfilling life. You can do all the things you want to do and your body won’t be able to hold you back.
This is just part 1 of this series since it’s such a long list. Part 2 is already typed up and ready for you guys to see and I gotta say, it’s probably the best piece I’ve ever written. I’m really excited to share it with you guys! But in the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this post. As we go through life, we gain experience and wisdom. The hope is that we’ll learn from it and share what we learn with others too so they can avoid problems. Please let me know any of your pieces of advice for life. I’d really love to hear it and I’d love to know what you thought of this article too.