23 Things Learned In 23 Years Of Life (Part 1)

This past Friday I turned 23. I’ve honestly have always felt older than what I actually am so even though I’m 23 now, I feel like I’m actually 27. How exactly would a 27 year old even feel? I do not know😂 It’s just always been that way with me. People tend to think I’m older than I am too. They’re genuinely surprised when I tell them my real age. They say I’m just so mature for my age and seem so wise. So I thought I’d to share with you some of the “wisdom” I’ve acquired after being on this earth for 23 years. It’ll be fun so let’s dive right into it!

  1. The people you went to school with will not be in your life as an adult. You may never even seen them again (unless of course you want to) so don’t worry about the high school drama or cliques, who’s popular or anything else like that. It all means nothing in the real world.
  2. If a guy really likes you and wants to be with you, he’ll show it. You shouldn’t have to try and decode his en-cryptic messages of emojis. I hate all those games honestly. I don’t have time for that. That’s why I’m so glad I married an older, mature man too because he didn’t play those games. He shouldn’t ignore your texts for days. You shouldn’t have to read between the lines to see how he’s really feeling. He should make it clear and if you’re confused, ask him. If that scares him off, then good. He wasn’t ready for a real relationship anyways.
  3. Do your own thing in life. Many times what others want you to do may be the exact opposite of what feels right to you. At the end of the day though, you’re the one who will have to deal with the consequences of your decisions. You’re the one who will be left to live your life and those other people won’t have to. So try and do what makes the most sense to you. I mean just look at my life for example, I left High school at 16, got married at 18, and had a baby at 20. But I had a certain vision for my life so I made the decisions that I felt would help me to get there, and it did. So although I did not do things the way people normally would have liked me to, that doesn’t matter. I got to where I wanted to be and I didn’t have to waste time doing things the conventional way.
  4. Not everyone is sincere. It may be hard to believe if you yourself are a sincere, honest hearted person yourself, but not everyone has good intentions. Not every “friend” wants the best for you. It’s something you learn in life. And it may be hard to believe because you may think, why would a person fake a friendship just to then gossip about you and stab you in the back? It’s sad but unfortunately it happens. There are some people out there who are like that. You don’t have to be paranoid and not trust anyone. Just be cautious and try to get to know your friends before you tell them your personal issues. It may happen to you, where you find out that a “friend” was acting more like an enemy behind your back. In that case, just drop them. You don’t need that in your life and there are so many other people who are looking for real friends like you.
  5. You have the power to become the person you want to be in life, to better yourself in anyway you’d like. Whether that be financially, physically, or even just personality-wise, you can do it. If you’d like to be kinder and not as bitter and cynical, then you can work on improving your personality. You do not have to be defined by your childhood, by the way your family acted, nothing. Oftentimes, if someone has a temper then they might say something like, ‘well my father always had a temper too so I can’t help it’. But the truth is, you can help it and that’s good news! You don’t have to stay stuck with traits that you don’t really like. It may be hard to reprogram your brain with the way you think and how you react to things, but it can most definitely be done. I was able to do it, so I know you can too.
  6. Some people will hate you just because. Again, this may be something that’s hard to grasp, but some people just won’t like you and they may not have any real reason why they even feel that way. You may treat them so nice. You might be so friendly and helpful to them and still they just won’t like you. Don’t sweat it. Some people you just can’t win over. But that’s OK because there will be so many other people who do like you, so focus on them.
  7. We all have those people in our lives who we haven’t talked to in years and we think to ourselves, why did I ever lose touch with them? Then you get to talking with them and end up seeing just how negative and toxic they are to your lives. Then you realize that that’s why you broke off contact with them. So my advice to you, leave people from the past, in the past. I wouldn’t say that applies to each and every person but as a general rule of thumb, it’s usually what’s best. There’s always a reason why you stopped talking to certain people or why a certain friendship didn’t work out. Just trust that if you’ve stopped talking with certain people, it’s probably for a really good reason so be wary about allowing them back into your life.
  8. There will be ebbs and flows to your relationship. That’s OK and perfectly normal. So don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you or your partner or that maybe you guys just weren’t meant to be together. That’s something that would happen in any relationship so don’t worry.
  9. Be humble. There is so much in life that we don’t know about so try not to speak on things that you don’t know the facts on. I’ve done it too. I can almost guarantee that we’ve all done it. Be open to learning more and realize that you don’t know it all, not at 23, 43, or even at 63. Try not to comment on the lives of others because more than likely, you don’t know the full story.
  10. It’s easy to find people who will want to sleep with you but its hard to find someone who will love you unconditionally. So when you find someone like that, who really loves you, hang on to them and don’t let them go. It may be true that people will want to be with you physically but that’s so different from someone who will actually commit to you for your whole life. I’ve seen the sad outcome of women who have taken their significant others for granted. They’re still alone at 40 years old and have spent years trying to find true love again. It’s not easy to find so hold onto your love and appreciate them.
  11. Take care of your skin now! I’ve been lathering my face with oil every night since I was 12 years old and recently have been wearing SPF daily. It may seem really premature for me to be doing these things but I rather prevent wrinkles and fine lines. Why take a chance? Just start taking care of your skin now and you’ll thank yourself in the years to come (especially as you get older).
  12. The same goes for your health. You may feel that you’re young and can eat anything you want and don’t have to worry about your health but the truth is that you’ll pay for the way you treat your body sooner or later. In the short term, eating junk food and being inactive will cause you to have low energy, bloat, indigestion, bad skin, body aches, and a whole plethora of problems. In the long term, you can develop diseases that really inhibit your life, you may lose organs or limbs because they’ve shut down due to years of abuse, you may lose your hair, become obese, and the list goes on. So, take care of your health now and you can live a rich, exciting, and fulfilling life. You can do all the things you want to do and your body won’t be able to hold you back.

This is just part 1 of this series since it’s such a long list. Part 2 is already typed up and ready for you guys to see and I gotta say, it’s probably the best piece I’ve ever written. I’m really excited to share it with you guys! But in the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this post. As we go through life, we gain experience and wisdom. The hope is that we’ll learn from it and share what we learn with others too so they can avoid problems. Please let me know any of your pieces of advice for life. I’d really love to hear it and I’d love to know what you thought of this article too.

Till next time,

Paula Moral

5 Things I’ve Learned In 5 Years Of Marriage

With my 5th year wedding anniversary coming up (on December 12th to be exact) I thought it’d be fun to share 5 things I’ve learned while being married for these past few years. I am not a marriage expert or counselor by any means, let me just put that out there😂. These are just a few of the things I’ve learned while being married. I hope they help.

  1. Just pick up the dirty clothes from the floor and don’t bicker about it. If your spouse has a bad habit that really bothers you, you should most definitely tell them about it instead of just holding in all that frustration. Hopefully they can improve on their bad habit and eventually stop doing it all together, but I wouldn’t recommend that you point it out to them each and every time it happens. That can get annoying for both of you and lead to arguments over something so small. You don’t want to be bickering with your spouse each and everyday, that just leads to constant tension in the house. Keep in mind too that habits are hard to break. Often times they’re done without much thought, it’s just subconscious. So try and be patient. They’re not doing it to purposely annoy you. Their actually probably struggling to break it. You can bring it up from time to time to try and get them to hopefully improve on it but try not to bring it up everyday.
  2. Don’t compare your mate or your relationship to anyone else’s. Every couple, and I mean every couple, has their challenges in marriage. There’s so much that may be happening behind the scenes that you just don’t know about. There will be areas that another couple may be better in, but your relationship will also be better than there’s in other ways too. Try to work on watering your relationship and it will grow. The grass is most definitely not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. A friend told me that and I thought it was so wonderfully said…and true! So bottom line, don’t be jealous of someone else’s relationship because they have issues that you don’t know about, we all do.
  3. Communication is so so important! I know this is one we’ve all heard before, but communication is everything! It helps build trust, it avoids needless arguments, and there’s no confusion. You guys will always be on the same page since you’ve clearly communicated everything that’s going on. Be open and honest and talk about everything. Talk about your goals for your finances as a couple. What is it you want to work on saving towards? Be open with where you want your life to be in 5 or 10 years. Let them know if you feel that life has become stale and you need a change. Be honest about everything: even what you’d like to do for the weekend or what time you expect to be home and if there’s any changes to your plans that may cause you to come home later. It’s not about trying to control the other person, it’s simply having respect. You guys are now a unit and if you come home late, it may change the other ones plans (like even simply what time they should cook dinner, if they’ll be putting the kids to bed by themselves, and more). So just try to communicate what you’re feeling and thinking so there can be as little conflict as possible.
  4. Date your spouse. Flirt with your them, text them throughout the day, send them pictures, or funny things you find on social media, just basically treat them like you did when you guys were dating. It does take an effort to do these things since we can get so caught up in our daily lives and the routine of things. It doesn’t have to be all day that you’re texting them but one or two funny or cute texts can go a long way. They show that you guys are thinking of each other and they help keep things fun and exciting between you too. Don’t forget to dress up cute for them too, wear cute pj’s and things like that.
  5. Look within yourself for happiness, don’t rely on your mate for that. With any relationship, you need to be happy with yourself first. You can’t expect the other person to be the answer. If you are feeling bored or unfulfilled, take up a hobby or new job . Your husband/ wife is a life partner, someone to go through experiences with, to support each other, possibly build a family together, and hopefully have fun along the way. But they should not be the only thing in life that makes you happy or the one that gives you purpose in life. I think it’s important to be your own person first. That way you can add to each other’s life and enhance it. Being another person’s only source of happiness is a lot of pressure and can be draining so if you can relieve them of that, it’ll make everyone’s life easier.

So there you have it, my 5 pieces of advice for the 5 years that I’ve been married. I hope these were helpful and were not so repetitive with the advice people usually give married people. What are your tips for married people or those looking to get married? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!

Till next time,

Paula Moral