How To Always Keep A Tidy Home (Even If You Have Kids)

For this past month, I have really been focusing in on maintaining a tidy, clean home, even with having my little 3 year old. It seems like there can always be a reason why things aren’t clean, and some of them are actual legit reasons. For myself, I found it a challenge to keep things clean when my daughter was a newborn. I feel that that’s a moment in life when you should give yourself grace and not worry so much about chores. You want to instead focus on adjusting to life with the newest member of your family. But even as my daughter got older, I found myself with the same mindset even though the newborn stage was long gone. I have now recently found a cleaning routine that works for me. It’s actually a whole lot easier and quicker to maintain than if I just allow my home to become a full blown mess. The only time now that things will get a bit chaotic is usually only if I’m not feeling well and have to use the day to rest. But other than that, the home is usually easily maintainable. So I wanted to share with you all the cleaning tips that I have adapted to my routine so you too can have an easier time maintaining your home.

  1. This is probably an obvious one but my first tip is to have your little ones help in tidying up their toys. Of course, the amount they can clean will vary depending on how old they are but they can always help out even as a little baby. I’ve always had my little girl pick up her toys for the most part, since she was about 1 years old. At that age, I would have her just pick up a small mess of toys. Now that she’s nearing 4 years old, she likes to help a whole lot with cleaning. She can clean her whole play room all on her own. She loves to help me wipe down surfaces and mirrors and sweep small messes with her mini sweeping pan. I would say maybe about half the time I’ll let her clean up her things on her own and then the other time I’ll help out. That’s usually if I can tell she’s really tired or overwhelmed with the mess. But my rule is if she stops helping out, than I will too and I won’t help if she’s purposely moving in slow motion just so she could try and do less. But our kids are very much capable and even willing to help. They like to feel included and their confidence is boosted after they’ve tackled a hard mess. I know sometimes we have to coax our children and encourage them to keep going but it does get easier and it’s a life long skill that is necessary for them as they get older.
  2. My next tip it to Use your dishwasher! I don’t know why I was so opposed to using mine for the 6 years that I’ve been married but for some weird reason, I didn’t even think of it as an option. Now that I’ve been using it these past few weeks, it has been such a timesaver! I usually take an hour to wash the dishes by hand everyday and sometimes it takes up to two hours! I don’t know why. I was just as shocked as you when I realized that. But I also include wiping down the kitchen counters, stove, sink, and table as part of that time. For me, it all has to be done in order for me to feel like the kitchen is complete. A tip I have picked up from a few youtubers is to load your dishwasher throughout the day and then run it at night. That way when you wake up, all the dishes will be ready to go for the day. You also want to be sure to unload the dishwasher and put them all away in the morning. That way your washer will be cleared and ready for you to load the dirty ones in there throughout the day.
  3. Do one load of laundry each day. That also includes hanging them up and storing them in the dresser too. Laundry is one of the chores that I really dislike. I enjoy putting them in the wash and folding them. I love having clean clothes too. But I just hate hate hate the hanging up process. I don’t know why😂. I think it’s because there’s just always so much laundry to do so it honestly feels like a never-ending task. Especially when you have a toddler who loves to change her outfits about 3 times a day.😄 You end up not knowing what’s dirty or clean so to be safe you just end up washing them all! So a tip I’ve heard from others that I’ve also found personally helpful is to wash one load each day. When you do that overtime, you’ll find that your daily loads are so small that it only takes about 10-15 minutes to put them all away. And when it comes to doing any chores you hate (mine is laundry) my tip is to just do it. You’ll often find that it was actually a lot easier and quicker to do than you had anticipated in your head. At least that’s what I tend to find. I often will just wake up and hang up the clothes waiting for me before I even have my breakfast. Since I’m hungry, it often helps me to move quicker and just get it done so I can eat sooner.
  4. Try tidying messes as you see them. Are you cooking and notice that the kitchen floors need a good sweeping? Or has the entry way floor started to track in mud from shoes? Try to clean those things as soon as you see them. I understand that at times we can’t drop everything and clean. We have children to attend to, we may be tired or not feeling well. There’s just often a lot going on. That’s why I say try. I have noticed that it’s easier to stay on top of things if I’m quick to tidy as I go. But I have my days though where I choose not to do it because my body is begging for some rest. So as with this and all the other tips, just incorporate the ones that are a good fit for you and your household. These aren’t hard and fast rules to live by. For example, if I have to make the choice between using my spare time to tidy another mess or spend time with my daughter, I choose my daughter. There will literally always be a mess to clean. I rather focus my time and attention on my sweet girl for as long as I can. They’re only little once so I want to make the most of it. So don’t always stress yourself out about keeping things pristine at all times.
  5. Another tip I’d like to add is to make your bed as soon as you wake up. I just love the look of a made bed but on top of that, I feel that it helps me to get my cleaning gears going so I’m already in that zone. It makes me want to check more things off my cleaning to do list.
  6. A tip for all the mamas out there, I’ve found it especially helpful to put my little girls toys in bins and then putting those bins up high in a closet so she can’t get to them herself. When she was able to reach all her toys, it would be a free for all with every little tiny toy out on the floor. So now, she just has access to larger, easier to clean toys like her music ones, stuffed animals, things like that. For tiny pieces like those Barbie accessories, those all go in one of the plastic containers that I keep in the closet. She has another one for play-doh things, another for arts and crafts and the like. I’ll usually only let her have one bin out at a time so the mess is easier to manage. It also tends to motivate her to to want to clean up those toys that are already out because in order for her to get a different bin, the rule is that she has to first clean up the one she’s working with. I have seen too that if I forget to put the other bins away at night, then she’ll end up dumping them all the next morning at once. So if you do try this one out, dont forget to put those bins back in the closet! But if you want to make the toy messes smaller and easier to clean, you might want to try implementing this trick.

These are my basic 6 principles of cleaning that have helped me with keeping a tidier home. Like I’ve mentioned, don’t beat yourself up if you’re not able to keep things as clean as you would like to. We’re all going through different seasons of life and have our own challenges. I only have one child who is almost 4 so she is very much self sufficient. It’s not nearly as challenging as having a newborn or 4 kids so please don’t compare or feel guilty. (Mom guilt is a powerful thing!) I hope maybe by trying a few of these out, they’ll make your life a little easier and help things run more smoothly. Please let me know in the comments any cleaning tips you have for us all. I’m still trying to learn where I can and could always use more help. I hope you enjoyed this article and until next time…bye!

-Paula🌙

19 Ways To Stay Busy At Home During Quarantine

One of the hardest parts for me with staying home during quarantine is just finding enough things to do to keep me busy. With lock down now lasting 3 months, I’ve been rotating through a list of things that I can do during my time at home. I wanted to share them with you guys for those times when you’ve maybe run out of things to do and can’t think of anymore. Here are my go-to’s:

  1. Adult coloring books– These are so entertaining for me that they’ll keep me busy for hours! It’s also a nice way to unwind and relax at the end of the day while also being creative. Amazon has a so many to choose from. I’ll try linking the one I got, along with the markers, down below.
  2. Spa day– You can take a day or even just an evening to pamper yourself. You can take a bath, do a hair or face mask, do your nails, anything you’d like to give yourself a little extra love and feel better.
  3. Bake new things/ try new recipes– This is one the whole family can take part of. Kids can help with measuring and mixing and everyone can help with eating it.😁 This activity can possibly keep you and the kids busy for a whole afternoon.
  4. Arts and crafts with kids– I have a toddler girl so I’ve been trying to do one arts and crafts project with her everyday. Pinterest is full of amazing ideas and they often will include common household objects like paper plates, paint, and things like that; so no need to have to go out and buy new materials if you don’t want to. My daughter loves art so she’ll stay busy with these activities for at least 2 hours. It’s such a good way for kids to get creative and use their imaginations too.
  5. Exercise or daily walk– I’ve been trying to make sure to do something active everyday. I’ll either go on a walk with the family or do some Pilates videos at home (they’re free on YouTube). It always makes me feel good, it’s healthy for us, and a lot of the time my daughter will want to join in so it’ll help encourage healthy habits for the kids too.
  6. Weight loss goals– This is something I’ve been focusing on while in quarantine. It’s something that can be fun while you track your progress and find new ways of cooking food for low calorie options. And in the end you’ll most likely feel better about yourself and be more confident.
  7. Journal– Quarantine has been hard for us all so I’ve been finding it especially helpful to journal my thoughts and feelings nearly every day. It helps me to focus on what I can fix and to put things in the right perspective. Journaling helps me to see things as they really are and to not blow them out of proportion.
  8. Work on your makeup skills– Since we have more time on our hands, what better time to try and learn some new techniques from the makeup gurus? I’ve been taking more time when I put my makeup on in the mornings and just enjoying the process. I also try to play around with eye shadow and work with new colors. It can be fun and you can end up finding something that will become a new makeup staple for you.
  9. Knitting or sewing– This is something I did a lot of at the start of quarantine (but now I blog) it can be so nice to make things with your hands and to maybe even gift them to friends.
  10. Make care packages for those in need– It could be for friends or maybe for someone you don’t even know that well but think they would enjoy one. It could be a warm home cooked meal, toys for kids, essential supplies, pampering basket for new moms, anything really. There’s just so much we can do and in the end it’ll help us to feel better too when we give back to others.
  11. Read!– So many of us have forgotten about the simple enjoyment of reading a book or we just put it aside in exchange for highly stimulating activities. I know I did. I’m trying to get back into reading. It’s something that can help expand our thinking and vocabulary, it can take us away on new adventures right from our own home, and if it’s a really good book, it can keep us entertained for hours.
  12. Nap– With all that’s going on in the world, it can really be taxing on us emotionally and mentally. Taking a nap can help us to reset and take a break from it all. Often times we’ll wake up with a clearer mind and maybe have new solutions to problems we’ve been struggling with. We always say we’re tired but with quarantine, we don’t need to be.
  13. Picnic– Making sure we get about an hour of outdoors time everyday has been life changing during this lock down and a picnic can help you do just that. It can help get you out from just being indoors all day and the sunlight can help brighten your mood and make you feel more energetic (at least it does for me🌞).
  14. Pool time– If you guys happen to have a pool, you can take advantage of these hot summer days and turn it into a pool day. That can help take up a big portion of your day, and as a bonus, it also makes the kids super sleepy so they’re sure to be more calm afterwards and maybe even take a nap.
  15. Organize– You can use this time to organize those areas in your home that you’ve been wanting to get to but just have never had time for previously. Pinterest has so much inspiration for organizing. I recently just gave my pantry a Pinterest-like makeover. Here’s the article if you need help getting started.
  16. Clean/declutter– You can work on any areas that are starting to get hectic. Now is a good time to clean your home from head to toe as a fresh start. It may be easier to maintain after you’ve done so.
  17. Try starting on those projects that you’ve been wanting to– Have you always wanted to write a book? Start a blog? Or an Etsy shop? Now would be a good time to get those dreams started.
  18. Learn a new instrument– Is there one that you’ve always wanted to learn to play? For me, I’ve always favored the ukulele. It has such a sweet, whimsical sound. You can take the time now to try and learn your favorite instrument.
  19. Soap making– This is a hobby that I still love but haven’t done in a long time. There are so many designs and ways you could make your soaps. There are some you can make to look like gem stones, you can hide a small toy in the center for kids, or you can go the crunchy route and make all natural/organic soaps. The possibilities are endless.

I know quarantine can be challenging (I definitely have those days). What helps me is to try and keep a positive mindset and to keep myself busy throughout the day. It’s OK if you need some days to just reset and not really do much, I need those days too. But overall, I hope this article is able to help you stay busy and maybe even give you a few fun distractions as well.

Take Care,

Paula🦋

How To Avoid Being Jealous

Jealousy is an ugly quality that I’m sure we all want to avoid. It can kill a moment and just create the worst tension in a room if you or someone else there is the one exhibiting this negative trait. It’s not a word that you necessarily want someone to describe you as either. So how can we avoid? How can we keep this less than attractive quality from wrecking havoc on what could potentially be a good day? Today I want to share with you how I’ve personally been able to distance myself more and more from this trait.

Let’s be honest. When we’re feeling jealous, it’s most likely because we’re actually feeling a bit insecure at the moment. For me personally, if I’m feeling confident, it doesn’t matter to me what anyone else around me is doing or how they look because I feel good about myself and my worth. I don’t need to compare or compete with anyone because I know I’m good as I am. It’s on the days where I’m not feeling so great about myself and feeling insecure that I will start to compare myself and then feel even worse because I’ll feel like I’m lacking in some area. So my answer to jealousy is to do what you can to better yourself and get to where you want to be.

Are you feeling insecure because of your acne which then makes you jealous of others with clear skin? Or are you insecure about your weight so that you then feel jealous of others who are at a healthier weight? Do what you can to fix those issues so that you have nothing to feel bad about. Don’t be mad at someone just because they have something that you want. Instead use those people as motivation and inspiration to work on yourself and then achieve those things that you are longing for and were once jealous of.

I know it’s not easy to just flip the switch and to start using any negative feelings you may have and turn them into positive actions, but it is well worth it. In the end, you will be someone that people want to spend time with because you don’t carry the negative traits that come along with being jealous. You will be someone who is more bright and positive because you will have used your energy towards bettering yourself instead of hating others and being bitter.

I’m telling you, a majority of the things your self conscious of can be worked on. I used to be heavily over weight, have a deeper voice, a negative attitude and mindset about everything, brittle frizzy hair, cystic acne filled face, and so many more negative attributes. I didn’t like the overall person I was because not only did I not look the way I wanted but I also had a horrible attitude to couple that. So I literally sat down and thought of who I want to be as a person. (I did this a lot when I was 12 and 13). I like to draw so I would draw out the person I want to be. I wanted to be sweet and gentle and kind. I wanted to be loving and affectionate. I wanted to be someone who walked with grace and was well poised. A lot of these things didn’t come naturally to me so I really had to work on them, and so I did.

It took some time but I slowly started to become the person I always wanted to be. All that is to say that the very person you’re jealous of, you can be. Whatever it is they have, you can attain. I would say at least 90% of the change you want is within your control. That’s a lot that you have power over. You can be the exact person you want to be and that is so liberating to hear! You don’t have to be bitter that you’re not like so and so or don’t have a certain thing that they do. You can work on bettering yourself to the point that your days of being jealous will be far and few between; to the point that it’s rare for you to have one of those days. You have the power to be who you want to be. It’s all up to you.

Tell me, what did you guys think of this article? Was it informative or helpful? I sure hope it was. Being jealous is no fun for anyone sitting in that room. I want you to have as many good days as possible and to be so confident about yourself that you don’t really long to be like anyone else because you are content and happy with the person you’ve worked hard to become. Please let me know what you guys thought of this article because I just love to hear from you. I hope you guys have a good rest of your day (or for those like me, a good night). I’ll see you in my next one.

Bye,

Paula🌙

23 Things Learned In 23 Years Of Life (Part 2)

Last week was part 1 of this series where I shared 12 things I’ve learned in my life. Since the list was so long, I decided to break it up into two posts. This is part 2. It’s heavy and it’s deep…so get ready. 🌻

13. Let God guide you in life. Sorry to include religion if that’s not your thing, but I just need to briefly say that God is the reason why I am so happy today and why my life is where it is. I’ve been in the trenches and in the lowest of lows and God helped me to get out of that. He helped guide me to true happiness in life and avoid paths in life that I almost went down but just would’ve given me misery. So I just have to quickly give thanks and credit to God himself. I wouldn’t be where I am now without him.

14. Figure our what it is you want to do in life so that all your decisions can help lead you there. I know it’s easier said than done but maybe write down a list of things that interest you and perhaps actual jobs you can do surrounding those things. Or if marriage is a major goal for you, think of the qualities you want in a life long mate. That way you can be sure to search that out in the men you talk to and if they aren’t what you’re looking for, you can end it with them and move on. At least then you won’t be wasting your time. Try and think of where you want to be in 5 or 10 years from now so you can set goals that will bring you there.

15 You need to take care of yourself if you want to help care for others. This is a lesson that was especially engraved in me once I had my daughter. You can not serve from an empty cup. You will just find yourself burnt out, exhausted, and constantly irritated. It doesn’t take too much to care for yourself either; eat healthy meals, do your hair, take a hot shower, do a little makeup (if that’s your thing), and most importantly get your rest. You can’t expect a car on empty to go very far so prioritize your sleep if you want to get anything done.

16. Focus on strength training, not cardio. I see so many people, young and old, who workout so much or eat very little but still have a flat butt, lanky arms, and just overall not the shape they want. I wish I could just tell them that all they need is some strength training. And I’m not talking about 2 pound dumbbells; I’m talking about 20 pounds. Strength training has helped give me the curves I have, its given my arms shape, it’s given me structure and definition in my face and body, a sculpted back, abs, and so much more. You can see all my muscle definition even though I still have some weight to lose and that’s because of strength training. Some people believe that once they lose the fat everything will be toned, but the truth is that you need strength training to give you that definition. If you have to choose one over the other, I’d say skip out on the cardio and focus on the weights. And I know a lot of people fear getting bulky, having a thick neck, and large shoulders. Trust me, I get it. I don’t like that look either. The thing is though, it takes a lot of focused effort, a specific kind of diet, and really heavy lifting to attain that bulky look. So it’s not just going to happen on it’s own overnight.

17. You don’t need to keep anyone toxic in your life. Whether that be family or a friend that you’ve known for a really long time. Don’t feel obliged to keep anyone in your life who’s constantly bringing you down, causing problems in your life, and who is overall a negative influence in your life. That’s draining and exhausting. You don’t need that.

18. Never look to a guy to make you feel whole. If you do, you’re heart will always be in their hands. If they cheated on you or hurt you, you may believe that’s what you deserved. Don’t let any other person define you. Be whole enough on your own. Be complete on your own. That way if a guy comes into the picture, he will just add to your happiness. If he is the only reason for you to be happy, then you will constantly be unsteady because any little thing he does could make your whole earth shatter. I know it’s easier said than done. This is something I had to learn too but it’s necessary and vital. We can’t rely on someone else for our happiness because what would we do if one day they’re gone? You can’t spend your days with that anxious thought always in the back of your head. Look within yourself to see why you don’t feel whole on your own. Why do you feel the need to be validated by someone else? Once you answer those questions, you can start on the road to inner happiness and satisfaction. People are unpredictable so you wouldn’t want your whole life to lie in the hands of someone else.

19. Love is far superior to romance. I know that may be hard to believe, especially with the way movies make it out to be. But trust me, love is so much better and is long lasting. Romance is so quick lived and often dies out. You can certainly have romance and be deeply in love with your spouse, but often that takes more effort since you’ve guys have been together so long and its not the beginning stage of your relationship. Often times, as ladies, we can be suckers for romance (I know I am). It can sweep us off our feet and blind us to any red flags or toxic behavior that the guy may be exhibiting. But as someone who has experienced both, I have to tell you that the truth is love is the better option. It’s everlasting. Love is there for you when you’re at your worst moments in life. Love is there to support you and help you through life. That’s what a guy does when he loves you. The romantic guy often just wants to be there for the good parts and as soon as you’re having a hard time, they’re gone. And of course I’m not saying this is true of all romantic guys. It’s possible for a guy to be both in love with you and also romantic. But I’m talking more about those guys where that’s all they really offer. They’re a smooth talker, know just what to say, and are very romantic, but it doesn’t go any further than that. But sometimes because we love the romance so much, we’ll ignore the fact that he’s not so great as an actual boyfriend. And that leads me to my next point.

20. Don’t ignore the warning signs and the red flags! Often times we may be so head over heels for a guy and love the way they make us feel that we ignore all the ways they’re bad for us. We live for those high points in the relationship because it makes us feel like we’re walking on air. But be wary. Keep your eyes open. From my own experience, the most romantic, smooth talking guys were actually really terrible people and I realized that with the deeper I dug. I found out that they were going around talking to so many other girls in just the same way; they didn’t really care about me personally. That is a terrible person who is not going to change just for you. He just doesn’t respect women as a whole and he shows that in the way he acts. Love is just a game for people like that. It builds their ego knowing they can get so many girls and they usually don’t care if you get hurt in the process. It makes him feel good having the reputation of a “heart-breaker”. But often times we may still stick around though because he says the most perfect things and makes you feel incredible. But look beneath the surface. Those are just words; anyone can talk but it’s a whole other thing to walk. The fact that he’s not giving you his full attention and toys around with other girls hearts says a lot about what he thinks of you. He doesn’t think you’re worth it. He feels that you’re just worth part of his time. Don’t try and stick around and hope that he’ll change because more than likely that’s just the way he’s gonna stay. If he’ll disrespect you now, he’ll continue to do it. The honeymoon stage of when you first meet a person is supposed to be a time where you’re really trying to impress the other person and put your best foot forward. But if he’s treating you so negatively now, I’d be scared to see just how ugly it’ll get as years pass and he get’s even more comfortable with you. I want you to see that and not go any further with him. See the warning signs and run for the hills. (I’m sorry if this came off as harsh but when you’re in this situation, sometimes you just need someone to be blunt and give it to you straight. It can be so easy to overlook those things but if 5 years down the road you’re married to this guy and have children with him, it won’t be so cute having him still act like this. You’ll be kicking yourself wondering why you ever stayed with him. I just want you to avoid all that pain and regret.)

21. Don’t allow social media to break up your relationship. I’ve heard that many couples have actually divorced over it too. That’s so sad to me. Understand that social media is not real life. You’re relationship with your partner is far more important (and real) than anything on your phone. If it bothers them that you follow a certain person or like certain posts, just stop doing it. I’ve heard of couples who will fight that to the core. They’ll say “well it’s my right to do it. You can’t tell me what I can and cannot do.” and the list goes on. Why be so adamant about following certain people like that? Why is that so much more important to you than how you’re mate is feeling? Social media is whatever to me. I use it mainly as a business tool and to share photos with family. Any accounts I follow are just for fun. I really don’t care if my husband wanted me to delete all my accounts today, I would just do it. Social media is just not important to me. And the fact that people would have actual arguments with their loved one because they don’t want to unfollow a certain person? That’s unbelievable. Just remember that at the end of the day social media is not a person. So if your mate were to leave you over it, you would be all alone. And for what? It’s just not worth it. Let your pride go, let your ego down, and just listen to your mate’s feelings. Make their happiness a priority far before social media.

22. You can be body positive and still want to lose weight. I know this is a big debate, it often times causes arguments, and everyone has their own opinion on it. Here’s mine: yes, I believe you can still lose weight while also loving yourself and your body. You don’t have to hate your body in order to lose weight. Just recently I’ve lost 22 pounds and am still trying to lose about 10 pounds more. Even at the beginning of my weight loss journey, I still thought I was cute. I was never repulsed or disgusted with myself. And when it came to losing weight, I never resorted to starving myself or putting myself on a super restrictive diet that made me want to gag. I think often times, that may have been the experience of others when they first tried losing weight (I know I did the same thing when I was 12) so I think that’s what they relate to when it comes to losing weight, as if that’s the only way that it can be done. I would actually argue that I’m showing my body more love by trying to get rid of extra weight that is only causing health problems. I’m eating healthier and making sure I’m more active throughout the day. I think caring for my body in that way is much more loving.

23. And finally number 23! I should make this one good since it’s the last one, right? Ok here it goes: always do what’s right. I know that sounds so cheesy, so dull, and boring. But hear me out. Often times when you’re trying to be morally and ethically good as a person, it can be hard. It can be especially hard when we see people who are doing things so wrong and bad in life and yet seem to get away with it and even prosper. But the truth is, we will always pay for our actions in the end. Sooner or later those consequences will be knocking on our door. For example, if you did bad, cheated on your mate, and thought that they would never find out if you never told, guess what. Those things will always, always come out. You will face those consequences sooner or later. You can’t avoid them. Or if you did right in life, you will see good things come your way. You will avoid drama, arguments, and a lifetime of chaos by doing things right. In my life, I have always made the right decisions, I was always the good girl. At times it felt like why, why do I have to work so hard at doing good when this person is doing so many terrible things and yet seems to be prospering. Again, the truth will always come out. Years later I now see it. I see the misery that is their life, how they are struggling, and are alone due to their wrong behavior, and I see how everything in my life is seeming to align all at the same time. Everything is just right and just as I want it to be in life. I’m not trying to brag, that’s why I’m keeping it real vague and brief. But just know that those people who are doing wrong, even if you can’t see it now, they are (or will soon be) paying for their course in life. It may be something that takes years and years for them to fix (and sometimes it may be something that they’ll just have to struggle with for the rest of their lives). So don’t feel that it is in vain that you do things right. Know that soon you will see the reward for all your hard work and then you’ll be so grateful that you made the decisions you did and avoided so many problems in life.

So guys, there you have it: 23 things I’ve learned in my life. I hope you can take away at least one tip from this that you found helpful. In my life I’ve learned so many things, even as a young person. A big part of that is listening to the experiences of others. So please be open to hearing what older and wiser ones have to say. They’re just trying to help you avoid mistakes that they possibly have made in life or have seen others make. Then that way you can avoid so much hurt in your life. Weigh each decision out carefully. It can be so quick to make a decision that may impact you for the rest of your life so think things through. I’d love to hear from you guys and hear any bits of wisdom that you have. Please share! 🙂

Till next time,

Paula Moral

23 Things Learned In 23 Years Of Life (Part 1)

This past Friday I turned 23. I’ve honestly have always felt older than what I actually am so even though I’m 23 now, I feel like I’m actually 27. How exactly would a 27 year old even feel? I do not know😂 It’s just always been that way with me. People tend to think I’m older than I am too. They’re genuinely surprised when I tell them my real age. They say I’m just so mature for my age and seem so wise. So I thought I’d to share with you some of the “wisdom” I’ve acquired after being on this earth for 23 years. It’ll be fun so let’s dive right into it!

  1. The people you went to school with will not be in your life as an adult. You may never even seen them again (unless of course you want to) so don’t worry about the high school drama or cliques, who’s popular or anything else like that. It all means nothing in the real world.
  2. If a guy really likes you and wants to be with you, he’ll show it. You shouldn’t have to try and decode his en-cryptic messages of emojis. I hate all those games honestly. I don’t have time for that. That’s why I’m so glad I married an older, mature man too because he didn’t play those games. He shouldn’t ignore your texts for days. You shouldn’t have to read between the lines to see how he’s really feeling. He should make it clear and if you’re confused, ask him. If that scares him off, then good. He wasn’t ready for a real relationship anyways.
  3. Do your own thing in life. Many times what others want you to do may be the exact opposite of what feels right to you. At the end of the day though, you’re the one who will have to deal with the consequences of your decisions. You’re the one who will be left to live your life and those other people won’t have to. So try and do what makes the most sense to you. I mean just look at my life for example, I left High school at 16, got married at 18, and had a baby at 20. But I had a certain vision for my life so I made the decisions that I felt would help me to get there, and it did. So although I did not do things the way people normally would have liked me to, that doesn’t matter. I got to where I wanted to be and I didn’t have to waste time doing things the conventional way.
  4. Not everyone is sincere. It may be hard to believe if you yourself are a sincere, honest hearted person yourself, but not everyone has good intentions. Not every “friend” wants the best for you. It’s something you learn in life. And it may be hard to believe because you may think, why would a person fake a friendship just to then gossip about you and stab you in the back? It’s sad but unfortunately it happens. There are some people out there who are like that. You don’t have to be paranoid and not trust anyone. Just be cautious and try to get to know your friends before you tell them your personal issues. It may happen to you, where you find out that a “friend” was acting more like an enemy behind your back. In that case, just drop them. You don’t need that in your life and there are so many other people who are looking for real friends like you.
  5. You have the power to become the person you want to be in life, to better yourself in anyway you’d like. Whether that be financially, physically, or even just personality-wise, you can do it. If you’d like to be kinder and not as bitter and cynical, then you can work on improving your personality. You do not have to be defined by your childhood, by the way your family acted, nothing. Oftentimes, if someone has a temper then they might say something like, ‘well my father always had a temper too so I can’t help it’. But the truth is, you can help it and that’s good news! You don’t have to stay stuck with traits that you don’t really like. It may be hard to reprogram your brain with the way you think and how you react to things, but it can most definitely be done. I was able to do it, so I know you can too.
  6. Some people will hate you just because. Again, this may be something that’s hard to grasp, but some people just won’t like you and they may not have any real reason why they even feel that way. You may treat them so nice. You might be so friendly and helpful to them and still they just won’t like you. Don’t sweat it. Some people you just can’t win over. But that’s OK because there will be so many other people who do like you, so focus on them.
  7. We all have those people in our lives who we haven’t talked to in years and we think to ourselves, why did I ever lose touch with them? Then you get to talking with them and end up seeing just how negative and toxic they are to your lives. Then you realize that that’s why you broke off contact with them. So my advice to you, leave people from the past, in the past. I wouldn’t say that applies to each and every person but as a general rule of thumb, it’s usually what’s best. There’s always a reason why you stopped talking to certain people or why a certain friendship didn’t work out. Just trust that if you’ve stopped talking with certain people, it’s probably for a really good reason so be wary about allowing them back into your life.
  8. There will be ebbs and flows to your relationship. That’s OK and perfectly normal. So don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you or your partner or that maybe you guys just weren’t meant to be together. That’s something that would happen in any relationship so don’t worry.
  9. Be humble. There is so much in life that we don’t know about so try not to speak on things that you don’t know the facts on. I’ve done it too. I can almost guarantee that we’ve all done it. Be open to learning more and realize that you don’t know it all, not at 23, 43, or even at 63. Try not to comment on the lives of others because more than likely, you don’t know the full story.
  10. It’s easy to find people who will want to sleep with you but its hard to find someone who will love you unconditionally. So when you find someone like that, who really loves you, hang on to them and don’t let them go. It may be true that people will want to be with you physically but that’s so different from someone who will actually commit to you for your whole life. I’ve seen the sad outcome of women who have taken their significant others for granted. They’re still alone at 40 years old and have spent years trying to find true love again. It’s not easy to find so hold onto your love and appreciate them.
  11. Take care of your skin now! I’ve been lathering my face with oil every night since I was 12 years old and recently have been wearing SPF daily. It may seem really premature for me to be doing these things but I rather prevent wrinkles and fine lines. Why take a chance? Just start taking care of your skin now and you’ll thank yourself in the years to come (especially as you get older).
  12. The same goes for your health. You may feel that you’re young and can eat anything you want and don’t have to worry about your health but the truth is that you’ll pay for the way you treat your body sooner or later. In the short term, eating junk food and being inactive will cause you to have low energy, bloat, indigestion, bad skin, body aches, and a whole plethora of problems. In the long term, you can develop diseases that really inhibit your life, you may lose organs or limbs because they’ve shut down due to years of abuse, you may lose your hair, become obese, and the list goes on. So, take care of your health now and you can live a rich, exciting, and fulfilling life. You can do all the things you want to do and your body won’t be able to hold you back.

This is just part 1 of this series since it’s such a long list. Part 2 is already typed up and ready for you guys to see and I gotta say, it’s probably the best piece I’ve ever written. I’m really excited to share it with you guys! But in the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this post. As we go through life, we gain experience and wisdom. The hope is that we’ll learn from it and share what we learn with others too so they can avoid problems. Please let me know any of your pieces of advice for life. I’d really love to hear it and I’d love to know what you thought of this article too.

Till next time,

Paula Moral