The Beauty Of A Private Life (& The Effects Of Oversharing)

Oversharing. Have you heard of it? Even if you’re not familiar with the term, I know we’ve all seen it. It’s when people share just way too much of their private life: fights they’re currently having with their spouse, all the things their kids do wrong, or the one I find most disturbing, people’s personal body hygiene. Some things just don’t need to be shared and are best kept to yourself. So today I wanted to talk about the beauty of having a private life and actually keeping a filter on the things you share.

We don’t see that too much anymore. It actually seems to be the norm to share pretty much everything. I feel that stems a lot from the millennial generation of Youtubers. (I am a millennial myself so this is by no means an attack of those in our age group). As Youtubers shared more and more of their life, we as the viewers started to view that as the thing to do, especially if you want to be an influencer yourself. I don’t blame those Youtubers though because honestly, I think you probably run out of things to make videos on sometimes so you basically try to use anything you can for content once your other ideas have run dry. But what we all have to keep in mind is that once those things are shared, we can’t take them back.

It’s sad to say so but not everyone has good intentions and when they hear what your personal struggles or issues are, they may very well use those against you. I don’t want any of us to become paranoid and worry about who’s a real friend or who’s not. But just keep in mind that once you share those things, they will be known by everyone (including those who don’t like you very much).

We also have to think about the long term affect of what we share. Say you post embarrassing things about your kids or talk negatively of them, in the moment it may seem cute or like you’re just venting, but keep in mind that one day your child will grow up and see those things. They will one day be an adult who may be humiliated by something their parents posted of them, something they wish wasn’t out there. Try to keep in mind that your child is their own person. Little as they are, they still need their own privacy and that’s something that should not be violated. This isn’t to say you can’t share anything of your child, of course you can! They are your pride and joy and are often funny little things. My argument is to just think before you post. Think of who is going to see this, think of it potentially being screenshotted and shared with others. Is that ok with you? If it is, then by all means post. But if you have any hesitation, try pausing and think about the lasting effects before you do. You could also choose to just send it to certain ones like maybe family or close friends, that way you can enjoy it all together without the whole world needing to see it.

When it comes to personal hygiene, please please keep that to yourself. Especially the ladies. I’m not attacking or hating on women, I am in fact one myself. But you just don’t really see men talking much, if at all about their personal hygiene things. So for my fellow females, please let’s keep that all to ourselves. I understand wanting to feel “relatable” especially in this day and age of social media where everything is so curated and not relatable but please. We do not need to be showing off a fully grown hairy armpit or show people how we shave our legs that are so hairy they could be mistaken for my husband’s. we do not need to be talking about our periods, problems we have down there, or any kind of smells we experience. (I cringe as I write this, I hope you know that). Those are topics best kept for your close female relatives or friends. It’s sad to say but when you so openly talk about those personal things and even post about it on social media, it brings down your mystery, grace, femininity, and even attraction by a whole whole lot. Now if that’s something you don’t care about, then feel free to share away. But for those who do care about having a certain feminine mystery and intrigue, please keep all that to yourself. I don’t feel that it’s lady like at all to share those things with the world.

Along with that is keeping your personal development and goals to yourself. This isn’t something that is necessarily wrong to share, I’ve done it before as you can see with my previous posts. But I’ve learned that there’s beauty in keeping that to yourself. To work on yourself in quiet and not share every little thing you may be struggling with. In the past I have shared while I was in the middle of a certain goal. But this time around I want to keep it to myself and share it with you all afterwards. There are different reasons why I’m choosing to go about it this way this time around. One big one is that I don’t want to spread misinformation. A lot of times when we’re trying to achieve a goal, we’ll have to try many different methods before we finally reach it. In the past, I have shared what I was doing only to find out that it was totally wrong and not something that was going to work long-term. I just feel bad to have people see that and follow that sort of wrong way of doing things and never know that I actually don’t even agree with it anymore. And I could make an updated post about my new stragedy but there’s no guarantee that that person would ever see it.

Those are just a few of the many reasons why i think we need to value having a private life and not sharing every little detail in our personal lives. When you keep things private, people will have nothing to speculate on because they don’t know anything. They won’t have any personal details to go off on. They can assume what they want but they won’t really be able to base it on anything. Having a private life can mean peace and little to no backlash or criticism since people don’t even know what you’re up to. You can make mistakes without the whole world having to know about it too. And that is a beautiful thing.

What are your thoughts? Do you think we should keep more to ourselves or is sharing just caring? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.

Paula 🦋