My Goals For The New Year: 2020

Every year, as some of you may know, I love to set goals for myself. I’m a very goal oriented person. I write down what I want to do and I then I just do it (as Nike would say πŸ˜‚) So I thought I’d share with you guys my plans for this new year. Maybe it’ll help to inspire some out there and in the end, I’d love to hear your goals too. I’d love to get some new ideas. So without further ado, let’s get right into it.

  1. First, I’d like to continue to grow my blog. I’ve been posting regularly now for a few months and taking it really seriously. I’ve seen growth even in that short amount of time so I know that if I keep at it, then I’ll soon reap the benefits. So I just want to continue posting every week, at least once, but two times would be a dream. This is my job now so I want to treat it as one.
  2. My second goal would be to lose at least 10 more pounds. I’m guessing I have about 15 left to lose but I really can’t tell. I know though, that losing 10 would make a huge difference and would leave me with not much extra weight. So I feel that if I can knock out those 10 pounds, it will cause a huge change in the way my body looks and from there I shouldn’t have much more to lose. For those who don’t know, I’ve been losing weight for 4 months now and in that time I’ve lost 22 pounds. It’s really transformed the way I look. I’m so proud of my hard work. But there’s still a bit more I’d like to lose so I can feel my very best and be my most confident self.
  3. Next, I would like to develop a hair care routine and at the same time, grow my hair a few inches more too. I have never had the best hair. And it’s not because I have difficult hair or anything, I’ve just never really known how to care for it. I’ve always had a frizzy head of hair and it was pretty much always a hot mess. It wasn’t until this past year or so where I’ve been using hot tools on my hair and actually getting more of a smoother, shinier look. But now I see the heat damage starting to creep up on me. It’s nothing serious, just a bit on the ends. But I know that If I don’t take care of it now, it’s just going to get worse. So it’s time to finally implement a hair care routine. I’m talking hair serums, deep conditioning, learning to style without heat, the works. I want silky, gorgeous, shiny, long hair, but I know it’s going to take work to get it there. That starts this year!
  4. I also want to start reading books again regularly. I’ve always loved reading ever since I was a kid. But with all the many books we had to read in High school, reading during my leisure time was the last thing I wanted to do. Then after school ended, I got married and soon after got pregnant so all my time and energy went towards my baby. But now that the baby stage is over, I’m finding I finally have that vigor back and with it, a desire to read and to consume knowledge. I want to better myself, I want to get to the root of personal issues I have, I want to learn new things. I can do all of that with reading. I’m starting to get that hunger for devouring books back so I want to feed it before it goes away.
  5. I’m really looking forward to going on daily walks once the weather warms up. We just moved into our new home a few weeks ago so right now we live by a canal. There’s a beautiful path that goes all along it with flowers and greenery that I just can’t wait to walk. It’s still pretty cold here in California, but as soon as the weather warms up, even just a little bit, I plan on walking out there. Ever since losing my weight, I’ve been keeping active everyday. I want to keep that up though even when all my weight is gone and I think walking outdoors is a fun, relaxing way to do so. So as soon as I’m able to, I’ll be out there.
  6. Another thing I’m really looking forward to is upgrading my closet. Now that I’ve lost a good amount of weight, everything is pretty loose and baggy on me. For some clothes that’s perfectly alright, like a sweatshirt for example. But for a fitted dress, it just doesn’t look right when you’re swimming in it. I’ve been buying myself a few items here and there but only if they’re on clearance. That’s simply because I’m still in the process of losing weight. So although I do want some clothes that fit me now, I also don’t want to invest too much into them since I know they won’t be fitting me for long. With the clothes I’ve been buying, I’m starting to get a bit more adventurous with them. I’m not buying just regular old skinny jeans. Instead I’m opting for a fit and flare sort of pant that cinches at the waist and opens wide toward the ankles. I don’t want to just wear casual clothes anymore. I want them to be fashionable and just my style. I don’t want to play it safe. I’ve also been wearing heels more which is something I’ve never done before. It’s just part of my everyday look now. So I’m excited to add to my heel collection (right now I just have 2 πŸ˜‚)
  7. Another goal I have is to have friends and family over a couple of times every month. Since moving into our new home, we’ve had people come over pretty much twice a week, every week. I want to make sure we keep to that pattern and throw fun parties for our friends too. I have a lot of kid themed parties that I can’t wait to have. Not many people throw those parties where we live but I think it’d be so fun for Lulu and her friends. I’ve always been so shy when it comes to having people over. I just always over think it and worry if people are having a good time. But my husband has helped me a lot with not over thinking and as I get older too, I’m less self conscious and shy. I love being hospitable now and I just can’t wait for all the parties we’ll throw and all the memories we’ll make too.
  8. I also want to continue homeschooling my daughter. She’s only a toddler so she’s not technically enrolled in home-school; we’re just practicing. But I want to make sure that I keep up with it, work on it daily, and am seeing progress in what my daughter is learning. Right now she knows her shapes, colors, ABC’s, she can match, and draw really good. I think that’s all so good especially since she’s not even 3 yet. I’d like to teach her phonics next (the sounds each letter makes) and then from there we’ll work on forming words and eventually reading. I think we’re making really good progress. But like I said, I want to work hard to stick with it. If I’m going to be homeschooling her, then her education is in my hands and that’s something I take really seriously. So I just want to make sure that it’s something I can honestly do.
  9. This last one is actually something I’ve been wanting to do ever since I was a kid. I want to maybe write a book this year. Crazy, right! I’m not talking about just an e-book. I want it to actually be a physical book that you can touch and feel. I’d like to write and illustrate it myself to. I would probably start off with a children’s book since it’s a genre I love, I have a daughter of my own who I could read it to, and I love to draw cartoons which would be perfect for a book of that category. It might be a bit of a stretch since I’m still trying to get my blog off the ground; I may have to focus on that first. But I’ve found websites that you can use to help you write and publish your own book. I think it’d be amazing if I could make that a reality this year.

Those are my goals for this coming new year. They’re definitely different from the ones I’ve had in previous years; they’re new and exciting. I’m looking forward to it all. Please do let me know any goals you have for this new year. I’d love to get even more ideas. I just wanted to mention too, if you guys are enjoying my blog and would like to help it grow, please subscribe down below to my weekly newsletter. You’ll basically be emailed a notice only once a week letting you know that I’ve posted something new on my blog. Don’t feel obliged to do it but if you like the things I write and would like to see more, I would deeply appreciate you taking the time to subscribe. Thank you so much 😊🌻

Till next week,

Paula

23 Things Learned In 23 Years Of Life (Part 2)

Last week was part 1 of this series where I shared 12 things I’ve learned in my life. Since the list was so long, I decided to break it up into two posts. This is part 2. It’s heavy and it’s deep…so get ready. 🌻

13. Let God guide you in life. Sorry to include religion if that’s not your thing, but I just need to briefly say that God is the reason why I am so happy today and why my life is where it is. I’ve been in the trenches and in the lowest of lows and God helped me to get out of that. He helped guide me to true happiness in life and avoid paths in life that I almost went down but just would’ve given me misery. So I just have to quickly give thanks and credit to God himself. I wouldn’t be where I am now without him.

14. Figure our what it is you want to do in life so that all your decisions can help lead you there. I know it’s easier said than done but maybe write down a list of things that interest you and perhaps actual jobs you can do surrounding those things. Or if marriage is a major goal for you, think of the qualities you want in a life long mate. That way you can be sure to search that out in the men you talk to and if they aren’t what you’re looking for, you can end it with them and move on. At least then you won’t be wasting your time. Try and think of where you want to be in 5 or 10 years from now so you can set goals that will bring you there.

15 You need to take care of yourself if you want to help care for others. This is a lesson that was especially engraved in me once I had my daughter. You can not serve from an empty cup. You will just find yourself burnt out, exhausted, and constantly irritated. It doesn’t take too much to care for yourself either; eat healthy meals, do your hair, take a hot shower, do a little makeup (if that’s your thing), and most importantly get your rest. You can’t expect a car on empty to go very far so prioritize your sleep if you want to get anything done.

16. Focus on strength training, not cardio. I see so many people, young and old, who workout so much or eat very little but still have a flat butt, lanky arms, and just overall not the shape they want. I wish I could just tell them that all they need is some strength training. And I’m not talking about 2 pound dumbbells; I’m talking about 20 pounds. Strength training has helped give me the curves I have, its given my arms shape, it’s given me structure and definition in my face and body, a sculpted back, abs, and so much more. You can see all my muscle definition even though I still have some weight to lose and that’s because of strength training. Some people believe that once they lose the fat everything will be toned, but the truth is that you need strength training to give you that definition. If you have to choose one over the other, I’d say skip out on the cardio and focus on the weights. And I know a lot of people fear getting bulky, having a thick neck, and large shoulders. Trust me, I get it. I don’t like that look either. The thing is though, it takes a lot of focused effort, a specific kind of diet, and really heavy lifting to attain that bulky look. So it’s not just going to happen on it’s own overnight.

17. You don’t need to keep anyone toxic in your life. Whether that be family or a friend that you’ve known for a really long time. Don’t feel obliged to keep anyone in your life who’s constantly bringing you down, causing problems in your life, and who is overall a negative influence in your life. That’s draining and exhausting. You don’t need that.

18. Never look to a guy to make you feel whole. If you do, you’re heart will always be in their hands. If they cheated on you or hurt you, you may believe that’s what you deserved. Don’t let any other person define you. Be whole enough on your own. Be complete on your own. That way if a guy comes into the picture, he will just add to your happiness. If he is the only reason for you to be happy, then you will constantly be unsteady because any little thing he does could make your whole earth shatter. I know it’s easier said than done. This is something I had to learn too but it’s necessary and vital. We can’t rely on someone else for our happiness because what would we do if one day they’re gone? You can’t spend your days with that anxious thought always in the back of your head. Look within yourself to see why you don’t feel whole on your own. Why do you feel the need to be validated by someone else? Once you answer those questions, you can start on the road to inner happiness and satisfaction. People are unpredictable so you wouldn’t want your whole life to lie in the hands of someone else.

19. Love is far superior to romance. I know that may be hard to believe, especially with the way movies make it out to be. But trust me, love is so much better and is long lasting. Romance is so quick lived and often dies out. You can certainly have romance and be deeply in love with your spouse, but often that takes more effort since you’ve guys have been together so long and its not the beginning stage of your relationship. Often times, as ladies, we can be suckers for romance (I know I am). It can sweep us off our feet and blind us to any red flags or toxic behavior that the guy may be exhibiting. But as someone who has experienced both, I have to tell you that the truth is love is the better option. It’s everlasting. Love is there for you when you’re at your worst moments in life. Love is there to support you and help you through life. That’s what a guy does when he loves you. The romantic guy often just wants to be there for the good parts and as soon as you’re having a hard time, they’re gone. And of course I’m not saying this is true of all romantic guys. It’s possible for a guy to be both in love with you and also romantic. But I’m talking more about those guys where that’s all they really offer. They’re a smooth talker, know just what to say, and are very romantic, but it doesn’t go any further than that. But sometimes because we love the romance so much, we’ll ignore the fact that he’s not so great as an actual boyfriend. And that leads me to my next point.

20. Don’t ignore the warning signs and the red flags! Often times we may be so head over heels for a guy and love the way they make us feel that we ignore all the ways they’re bad for us. We live for those high points in the relationship because it makes us feel like we’re walking on air. But be wary. Keep your eyes open. From my own experience, the most romantic, smooth talking guys were actually really terrible people and I realized that with the deeper I dug. I found out that they were going around talking to so many other girls in just the same way; they didn’t really care about me personally. That is a terrible person who is not going to change just for you. He just doesn’t respect women as a whole and he shows that in the way he acts. Love is just a game for people like that. It builds their ego knowing they can get so many girls and they usually don’t care if you get hurt in the process. It makes him feel good having the reputation of a “heart-breaker”. But often times we may still stick around though because he says the most perfect things and makes you feel incredible. But look beneath the surface. Those are just words; anyone can talk but it’s a whole other thing to walk. The fact that he’s not giving you his full attention and toys around with other girls hearts says a lot about what he thinks of you. He doesn’t think you’re worth it. He feels that you’re just worth part of his time. Don’t try and stick around and hope that he’ll change because more than likely that’s just the way he’s gonna stay. If he’ll disrespect you now, he’ll continue to do it. The honeymoon stage of when you first meet a person is supposed to be a time where you’re really trying to impress the other person and put your best foot forward. But if he’s treating you so negatively now, I’d be scared to see just how ugly it’ll get as years pass and he get’s even more comfortable with you. I want you to see that and not go any further with him. See the warning signs and run for the hills. (I’m sorry if this came off as harsh but when you’re in this situation, sometimes you just need someone to be blunt and give it to you straight. It can be so easy to overlook those things but if 5 years down the road you’re married to this guy and have children with him, it won’t be so cute having him still act like this. You’ll be kicking yourself wondering why you ever stayed with him. I just want you to avoid all that pain and regret.)

21. Don’t allow social media to break up your relationship. I’ve heard that many couples have actually divorced over it too. That’s so sad to me. Understand that social media is not real life. You’re relationship with your partner is far more important (and real) than anything on your phone. If it bothers them that you follow a certain person or like certain posts, just stop doing it. I’ve heard of couples who will fight that to the core. They’ll say “well it’s my right to do it. You can’t tell me what I can and cannot do.” and the list goes on. Why be so adamant about following certain people like that? Why is that so much more important to you than how you’re mate is feeling? Social media is whatever to me. I use it mainly as a business tool and to share photos with family. Any accounts I follow are just for fun. I really don’t care if my husband wanted me to delete all my accounts today, I would just do it. Social media is just not important to me. And the fact that people would have actual arguments with their loved one because they don’t want to unfollow a certain person? That’s unbelievable. Just remember that at the end of the day social media is not a person. So if your mate were to leave you over it, you would be all alone. And for what? It’s just not worth it. Let your pride go, let your ego down, and just listen to your mate’s feelings. Make their happiness a priority far before social media.

22. You can be body positive and still want to lose weight. I know this is a big debate, it often times causes arguments, and everyone has their own opinion on it. Here’s mine: yes, I believe you can still lose weight while also loving yourself and your body. You don’t have to hate your body in order to lose weight. Just recently I’ve lost 22 pounds and am still trying to lose about 10 pounds more. Even at the beginning of my weight loss journey, I still thought I was cute. I was never repulsed or disgusted with myself. And when it came to losing weight, I never resorted to starving myself or putting myself on a super restrictive diet that made me want to gag. I think often times, that may have been the experience of others when they first tried losing weight (I know I did the same thing when I was 12) so I think that’s what they relate to when it comes to losing weight, as if that’s the only way that it can be done. I would actually argue that I’m showing my body more love by trying to get rid of extra weight that is only causing health problems. I’m eating healthier and making sure I’m more active throughout the day. I think caring for my body in that way is much more loving.

23. And finally number 23! I should make this one good since it’s the last one, right? Ok here it goes: always do what’s right. I know that sounds so cheesy, so dull, and boring. But hear me out. Often times when you’re trying to be morally and ethically good as a person, it can be hard. It can be especially hard when we see people who are doing things so wrong and bad in life and yet seem to get away with it and even prosper. But the truth is, we will always pay for our actions in the end. Sooner or later those consequences will be knocking on our door. For example, if you did bad, cheated on your mate, and thought that they would never find out if you never told, guess what. Those things will always, always come out. You will face those consequences sooner or later. You can’t avoid them. Or if you did right in life, you will see good things come your way. You will avoid drama, arguments, and a lifetime of chaos by doing things right. In my life, I have always made the right decisions, I was always the good girl. At times it felt like why, why do I have to work so hard at doing good when this person is doing so many terrible things and yet seems to be prospering. Again, the truth will always come out. Years later I now see it. I see the misery that is their life, how they are struggling, and are alone due to their wrong behavior, and I see how everything in my life is seeming to align all at the same time. Everything is just right and just as I want it to be in life. I’m not trying to brag, that’s why I’m keeping it real vague and brief. But just know that those people who are doing wrong, even if you can’t see it now, they are (or will soon be) paying for their course in life. It may be something that takes years and years for them to fix (and sometimes it may be something that they’ll just have to struggle with for the rest of their lives). So don’t feel that it is in vain that you do things right. Know that soon you will see the reward for all your hard work and then you’ll be so grateful that you made the decisions you did and avoided so many problems in life.

So guys, there you have it: 23 things I’ve learned in my life. I hope you can take away at least one tip from this that you found helpful. In my life I’ve learned so many things, even as a young person. A big part of that is listening to the experiences of others. So please be open to hearing what older and wiser ones have to say. They’re just trying to help you avoid mistakes that they possibly have made in life or have seen others make. Then that way you can avoid so much hurt in your life. Weigh each decision out carefully. It can be so quick to make a decision that may impact you for the rest of your life so think things through. I’d love to hear from you guys and hear any bits of wisdom that you have. Please share! πŸ™‚

Till next time,

Paula Moral

23 Things Learned In 23 Years Of Life (Part 1)

This past Friday I turned 23. I’ve honestly have always felt older than what I actually am so even though I’m 23 now, I feel like I’m actually 27. How exactly would a 27 year old even feel? I do not knowπŸ˜‚ It’s just always been that way with me. People tend to think I’m older than I am too. They’re genuinely surprised when I tell them my real age. They say I’m just so mature for my age and seem so wise. So I thought I’d to share with you some of the “wisdom” I’ve acquired after being on this earth for 23 years. It’ll be fun so let’s dive right into it!

  1. The people you went to school with will not be in your life as an adult. You may never even seen them again (unless of course you want to) so don’t worry about the high school drama or cliques, who’s popular or anything else like that. It all means nothing in the real world.
  2. If a guy really likes you and wants to be with you, he’ll show it. You shouldn’t have to try and decode his en-cryptic messages of emojis. I hate all those games honestly. I don’t have time for that. That’s why I’m so glad I married an older, mature man too because he didn’t play those games. He shouldn’t ignore your texts for days. You shouldn’t have to read between the lines to see how he’s really feeling. He should make it clear and if you’re confused, ask him. If that scares him off, then good. He wasn’t ready for a real relationship anyways.
  3. Do your own thing in life. Many times what others want you to do may be the exact opposite of what feels right to you. At the end of the day though, you’re the one who will have to deal with the consequences of your decisions. You’re the one who will be left to live your life and those other people won’t have to. So try and do what makes the most sense to you. I mean just look at my life for example, I left High school at 16, got married at 18, and had a baby at 20. But I had a certain vision for my life so I made the decisions that I felt would help me to get there, and it did. So although I did not do things the way people normally would have liked me to, that doesn’t matter. I got to where I wanted to be and I didn’t have to waste time doing things the conventional way.
  4. Not everyone is sincere. It may be hard to believe if you yourself are a sincere, honest hearted person yourself, but not everyone has good intentions. Not every “friend” wants the best for you. It’s something you learn in life. And it may be hard to believe because you may think, why would a person fake a friendship just to then gossip about you and stab you in the back? It’s sad but unfortunately it happens. There are some people out there who are like that. You don’t have to be paranoid and not trust anyone. Just be cautious and try to get to know your friends before you tell them your personal issues. It may happen to you, where you find out that a “friend” was acting more like an enemy behind your back. In that case, just drop them. You don’t need that in your life and there are so many other people who are looking for real friends like you.
  5. You have the power to become the person you want to be in life, to better yourself in anyway you’d like. Whether that be financially, physically, or even just personality-wise, you can do it. If you’d like to be kinder and not as bitter and cynical, then you can work on improving your personality. You do not have to be defined by your childhood, by the way your family acted, nothing. Oftentimes, if someone has a temper then they might say something like, ‘well my father always had a temper too so I can’t help it’. But the truth is, you can help it and that’s good news! You don’t have to stay stuck with traits that you don’t really like. It may be hard to reprogram your brain with the way you think and how you react to things, but it can most definitely be done. I was able to do it, so I know you can too.
  6. Some people will hate you just because. Again, this may be something that’s hard to grasp, but some people just won’t like you and they may not have any real reason why they even feel that way. You may treat them so nice. You might be so friendly and helpful to them and still they just won’t like you. Don’t sweat it. Some people you just can’t win over. But that’s OK because there will be so many other people who do like you, so focus on them.
  7. We all have those people in our lives who we haven’t talked to in years and we think to ourselves, why did I ever lose touch with them? Then you get to talking with them and end up seeing just how negative and toxic they are to your lives. Then you realize that that’s why you broke off contact with them. So my advice to you, leave people from the past, in the past. I wouldn’t say that applies to each and every person but as a general rule of thumb, it’s usually what’s best. There’s always a reason why you stopped talking to certain people or why a certain friendship didn’t work out. Just trust that if you’ve stopped talking with certain people, it’s probably for a really good reason so be wary about allowing them back into your life.
  8. There will be ebbs and flows to your relationship. That’s OK and perfectly normal. So don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you or your partner or that maybe you guys just weren’t meant to be together. That’s something that would happen in any relationship so don’t worry.
  9. Be humble. There is so much in life that we don’t know about so try not to speak on things that you don’t know the facts on. I’ve done it too. I can almost guarantee that we’ve all done it. Be open to learning more and realize that you don’t know it all, not at 23, 43, or even at 63. Try not to comment on the lives of others because more than likely, you don’t know the full story.
  10. It’s easy to find people who will want to sleep with you but its hard to find someone who will love you unconditionally. So when you find someone like that, who really loves you, hang on to them and don’t let them go. It may be true that people will want to be with you physically but that’s so different from someone who will actually commit to you for your whole life. I’ve seen the sad outcome of women who have taken their significant others for granted. They’re still alone at 40 years old and have spent years trying to find true love again. It’s not easy to find so hold onto your love and appreciate them.
  11. Take care of your skin now! I’ve been lathering my face with oil every night since I was 12 years old and recently have been wearing SPF daily. It may seem really premature for me to be doing these things but I rather prevent wrinkles and fine lines. Why take a chance? Just start taking care of your skin now and you’ll thank yourself in the years to come (especially as you get older).
  12. The same goes for your health. You may feel that you’re young and can eat anything you want and don’t have to worry about your health but the truth is that you’ll pay for the way you treat your body sooner or later. In the short term, eating junk food and being inactive will cause you to have low energy, bloat, indigestion, bad skin, body aches, and a whole plethora of problems. In the long term, you can develop diseases that really inhibit your life, you may lose organs or limbs because they’ve shut down due to years of abuse, you may lose your hair, become obese, and the list goes on. So, take care of your health now and you can live a rich, exciting, and fulfilling life. You can do all the things you want to do and your body won’t be able to hold you back.

This is just part 1 of this series since it’s such a long list. Part 2 is already typed up and ready for you guys to see and I gotta say, it’s probably the best piece I’ve ever written. I’m really excited to share it with you guys! But in the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this post. As we go through life, we gain experience and wisdom. The hope is that we’ll learn from it and share what we learn with others too so they can avoid problems. Please let me know any of your pieces of advice for life. I’d really love to hear it and I’d love to know what you thought of this article too.

Till next time,

Paula Moral

5 Things I’ve Learned In 5 Years Of Marriage

With my 5th year wedding anniversary coming up (on December 12th to be exact) I thought it’d be fun to share 5 things I’ve learned while being married for these past few years. I am not a marriage expert or counselor by any means, let me just put that out thereπŸ˜‚. These are just a few of the things I’ve learned while being married. I hope they help.

  1. Just pick up the dirty clothes from the floor and don’t bicker about it. If your spouse has a bad habit that really bothers you, you should most definitely tell them about it instead of just holding in all that frustration. Hopefully they can improve on their bad habit and eventually stop doing it all together, but I wouldn’t recommend that you point it out to them each and every time it happens. That can get annoying for both of you and lead to arguments over something so small. You don’t want to be bickering with your spouse each and everyday, that just leads to constant tension in the house. Keep in mind too that habits are hard to break. Often times they’re done without much thought, it’s just subconscious. So try and be patient. They’re not doing it to purposely annoy you. Their actually probably struggling to break it. You can bring it up from time to time to try and get them to hopefully improve on it but try not to bring it up everyday.
  2. Don’t compare your mate or your relationship to anyone else’s. Every couple, and I mean every couple, has their challenges in marriage. There’s so much that may be happening behind the scenes that you just don’t know about. There will be areas that another couple may be better in, but your relationship will also be better than there’s in other ways too. Try to work on watering your relationship and it will grow. The grass is most definitely not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. A friend told me that and I thought it was so wonderfully said…and true! So bottom line, don’t be jealous of someone else’s relationship because they have issues that you don’t know about, we all do.
  3. Communication is so so important! I know this is one we’ve all heard before, but communication is everything! It helps build trust, it avoids needless arguments, and there’s no confusion. You guys will always be on the same page since you’ve clearly communicated everything that’s going on. Be open and honest and talk about everything. Talk about your goals for your finances as a couple. What is it you want to work on saving towards? Be open with where you want your life to be in 5 or 10 years. Let them know if you feel that life has become stale and you need a change. Be honest about everything: even what you’d like to do for the weekend or what time you expect to be home and if there’s any changes to your plans that may cause you to come home later. It’s not about trying to control the other person, it’s simply having respect. You guys are now a unit and if you come home late, it may change the other ones plans (like even simply what time they should cook dinner, if they’ll be putting the kids to bed by themselves, and more). So just try to communicate what you’re feeling and thinking so there can be as little conflict as possible.
  4. Date your spouse. Flirt with your them, text them throughout the day, send them pictures, or funny things you find on social media, just basically treat them like you did when you guys were dating. It does take an effort to do these things since we can get so caught up in our daily lives and the routine of things. It doesn’t have to be all day that you’re texting them but one or two funny or cute texts can go a long way. They show that you guys are thinking of each other and they help keep things fun and exciting between you too. Don’t forget to dress up cute for them too, wear cute pj’s and things like that.
  5. Look within yourself for happiness, don’t rely on your mate for that. With any relationship, you need to be happy with yourself first. You can’t expect the other person to be the answer. If you are feeling bored or unfulfilled, take up a hobby or new job . Your husband/ wife is a life partner, someone to go through experiences with, to support each other, possibly build a family together, and hopefully have fun along the way. But they should not be the only thing in life that makes you happy or the one that gives you purpose in life. I think it’s important to be your own person first. That way you can add to each other’s life and enhance it. Being another person’s only source of happiness is a lot of pressure and can be draining so if you can relieve them of that, it’ll make everyone’s life easier.

So there you have it, my 5 pieces of advice for the 5 years that I’ve been married. I hope these were helpful and were not so repetitive with the advice people usually give married people. What are your tips for married people or those looking to get married? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!

Till next time,

Paula Moral