Am I Pregnant?!

For the past week this question has been ping ponging in my head all day long. I can’t help it! When your body has been feeling the way that mine has, you can’t help but wonder. But unfortunately, I have to wait 2 weeks before a home pregnancy test can even come out positive (if in fact I am pregnant). So let’s break down everything I’ve been feeling this past week and then can you guys please tell me what you think?

The Symptoms

  1. So it all started about a week and a half ago. I noticed some crazy breast soreness. I honestly can’t remember what time of day it was. All I know is that it was INTENSE. It was from top to bottom soreness in the chest, something that I had never felt before. The best way I can explain it, if you’ve ever nursed before, it feels exactly like when your breasts start to fill with milk right when you’re about to nurse your baby. It felt heavy and full and just really really sore. It was constant throughout the day too. It would let up for a little bit and then come right back. It was so intense that it would stop me from whatever I was doing at the moment. I would stop and ask myself “what on earth is going on?” I’ve just never felt anything like this before! And just as a side note, I never get any pain in my breasts, not even from my period. The only time I’ve ever felt anything was when I was either pregnant or nursing. I would feel this soreness even as I would try and drift off to sleep. It would take about an hour for me to fall asleep because this pain was just keeping me up. So of course everyday that I’m feeling this, I feel more and more convinced that I am in fact pregnant. It’s hard not to think about it when my chest is radiating all day long. This pain started during my week of ovulation so the timing does make sense.
  2. My second symptom was a feeling of fullness and weighing down in my lower stomach. I guess you can say it feels similar to when you’re going to start you’re period but it felt different at the same time. It’s so hard to differentiate the feelings of pregnancy and your period because they just feel SO similar. I actually remember thinking to myself, “wow being pregnant feels exactly like my period. This is what my period was preparing me for.” It just feels like a dull achiness and throbbing. I had this feeling 2 weeks before my period was supposed to actually show up. So I wouldn’t think it was PMS related at all.
  3. I also had an achy lower back and again that’s not something I normally get with my cycles. I know some girls do, I’m just not one of them. It wasn’t anything major but it was enough for me to ask if my husband could give me a massage which is something I very rarely do.
  4. I also had an overall feeling of malice. I was nauseous (just a tad, not too much), I had cramping in my stomach, breast soreness, aching back…I really felt terrible. So I had to take a day to just rest and do nothing at home which I actually hate doing. Even though I’m a stay at home mom, I like to make sure that my daughter and I are able to get out everyday and I just generally like to be very productive and get things done. So the fact that I had to rest all day, you KNOW I’m not feeling good if I have one of those days.
  5. I also was very emotional. I remembered I cried to my husband about something that was totally irrational. Even in the moment I knew it was dumb but I couldn’t help but cry. I also had a lot of paranoid thoughts about my daughter, I was just very anxious about her. That’s something I remember feeling in pregnancy. It’s not your normal anxiety. It’s thinking the craziest worse case scenarios and then crying about them like they’ve actually happened. I was even scared of her sleeping, thinking she was going to die in her sleep. Mind you, she’s a toddler so the possibility of SIDS is highly unlikely. But I cried about it because it felt so real to me. That’s the over the top anxiety I’m talking about. Normally I’m such a mellow person.

Implantation Or My Period?

*Just as a quick warning, this will in fact get gross and personal. I mean, we’re talking about periods here…what else can you expect?*

So after a week and a half of feeling all these symptoms that are so out of the norm for me (especially the breast soreness!) I actually started bleeding. Now when it first happened, I was a little happy (and nervous too, believe me!) If it stayed light, it could possibly be implantation bleeding, meaning that I am pregnant. The timing seemed right too. I got it a whole week before my period was even supposed to come. That had only happened to me once before. Normally my period comes within 2 days of when I’m expecting it. So that got me excited. But what started to make me doubt was the amount of blood I was getting.

It was definitely lighter than my normal period but still heavier than I would expect implantation bleeding to be. It’s really confusing though because when you try to search this topic on the internet, some people say it can only be spotting for it to be implantation bleeding while others say it can also be a light flow while still others say that they had very heavy bleeding which felt exactly like their periods and yet they were actually pregnant.

I had that bleeding for a total of 3 days. But that can be confusing too though since I’d say that my periods are about 4 days long on average. It seems as if there is no real clear answer on whether or not a certain kind of bleeding definitely is or is not implantation. The final verdict is that you just have to wait and test so you can know for sure.

Another reason why I question whether this really is my period is my aching boobs. I still have them. I read that if they were PMS related then the pain would be alleviated once my period came. Well it has come and now gone and yet I still have the sore achy feeling in my chest.

In Conclusion

Overall, I’m just very very confused. With the way my body felt before the bleeding, I was so very certain I was pregnant, I was 90% sure! But once the bleeding started, my hope started to diminish and quickly! I know some women do in fact bleed more than others when it comes to implantation, but from what I’ve researched, it seems like that’s out of the norm. The fact that my bleeding only lasted 3 days and my chest still aches, it does give me a little hope that maybe I possibly am pregnant. It’s so hard not knowing. It’s even harder because we were told that we would have a 1/1000 chance of getting pregnant. I won’t go into why, but that’s just where we’re at at the moment. So if I am not with child, it’s not like we can just try again and see if we’re pregnant next month. Unfortunately, that’s just not the case.

The soonest I can test is this Monday ( in about 2 more days) but to get the most accurate answer, I would need to wait till Friday. So I’ll probably wait another week to update you guys so that I can see for certain whether or not I’m pregnant. It’s so hard when your heart just aches to have another child and you can’t. I’ve literally been crying when I see pregnant moms or newborns. As much as I am happy for them, I also would like that too. In the meantime, I’ll be sure to make every precious moment count with my sweet girl.

Please do let me know in the comments below what you guys think about it all. Do you think I’m pregnant or are you just as confused as I am? I will be sure to update you all as soon as I know but until then..bye!

Paula

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